Let’s celebrate politically correctly in every way.
The Free Lance-Star, VA
Dec 18 2004
Goodwill to men, women, kids, humanoids
THE PIOUS FOLK who exhorted their countrymen to “put the Christ back
in Christmas” have lost. How badly? Not only is the “Christ-” not
there, neither is the “-mas.” The very phrase “Merry Christmas!”
seems to be disappearing from general usage. People now attend
“holiday parties,” post “season’s greetings,” and exchange wishes of
“Happy holidays.” This is a good start toward peaceful coexistence in
our beloved multicultural nation, Bosnia. We mean, America.
After all, many of us do not celebrate Christmas. This minority
includes Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, some Unitarians, atheists, and
agnostics. Even among Christian sects, one finds non-celebrants, such
as the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and churches that observe the feast on a
different day than Dec. 25, such as the Armenian Orthodox, whose
Christmas arrives on Jan. 6. So, clearly, “Christmas” is a term of
exclusion that should be retired in our outreaching society. That, as
we say, is a good start–but only a start.
When deconstructed, the adjective “Merry” is also (if we may make a
“value judgment”) mean-spirited. Not everyone is merry. It’s easy for
high extroverts on the Myers-Briggs personality grid to exude
“merriness.” They could do that even if staked out on an anthill. But
what about high introverts? Why should we bully them to be something
they’re not? Don’t they have a right to be reserved and to celebrate
the holidays without a lot of demonstrative hoopla? And when we say
“Merry Christmas,” aren’t we being insensitive to the individual who
has suffered a personal tragedy, such as the news that his spouse is
in possession of photographs taken by a private detective outside the
window of a Hotel 8? “Merry” indeed.
But banishing the entire phrase “Merry Christmas” still leaves the
holidays potentially hurtful as long as the callous shout, “Happy New
Year!” “Happy,” of course, is vulnerable to the same criticisms that
DQ “Merry,” but “New Year” is no innocent. It’s laden with “cultural
imperialism,” a phrase we learned long ago in college from a
professor who should be getting out of the pen any day now for
burning down the ROTC building.
Pagan-Americans, for example, typically mark their new year in the
spring. Does anyone care about them? The Jewish new year of Rosh
Hashana falls in the, well, fall, while Muslims use a different
calendar than the Gregorian version–named after a pope, no less,
which can’t sit well with Lynchburg, Va.–and, because it’s lunar,
ring in the new year on many different dates. And don’t go trying to
swap “New Year” for “2005,” Mr. Bigot. To traditional Chinese, it’s
the 22nd Year in the 78th Cycle.
Now, we’re not telling you all this to rob the season of spontaneity
or good feeling (though one’s feelings are certainly a private
affair), but only to instill in you a proper respect for your fellow
(pardon the sexist term) American. On the contrary, we shout to one
and all:
Unemotional Holiday and Disaffective Solstice!
And the Cosmic Force bless us, every one.