San Francisco Chronicle
SINGLE-MINDED
Contrasexuals don’t have to fake it
Jane Ganahl
Sunday, January 30, 2005
It’s St. Sargis Day — are you ready to meet your future husband in your
dreams? If so, break out the salty bread!
In many countries in the world (especially in Armenia and also the Middle
East), the day that falls 63 days before Easter is celebrated as St. Sargis
Day. Unmarried women fast during the day and then eat salty bread before
retiring. The man who brings them water in their dreams will be their
husband someday.
If only it were so easy, eh, ladies? That would put all those dating Web
sites out of business.
In Assyria, a variation of St. Sargis Day is celebrated in which the dreams
of single women are said to be prophetic. In the morning, unmarried girls
share their dreams with their mothers and grandmothers, thus upholding a
lovely cultural tradition and aiding in family unity. Much better than
watching “The Simpsons” on a Sunday night.
I don’t make this stuff up; I bring it to your attention because single
women around the world are like one sorority, and we ought to embrace one
another’s traditions, salty bread included.
And from England, that bastion of alleged stodginess, comes a new term for a
certain kind of single dame: “contrasexuals.” The term was coined by
researchers at the Centre for Future Studies after a study on young British
women in their 20 whose aspirations run counter-traditional. Career takes a
much higher priority than family. They want to succeed in spades, make a lot
of money — and then perhaps think about the rest.
They are not interested in marriage or children — at least not until their
mid-30s. Sex and dating are not all-important — though note that they are
not against (or contra) sex. In fact they are happy to have it, no strings
attached.
Apparently, in Britain these days, a burgeoning generation of Samanthas is
on the loose. And despite the semi-manufactured nature of this study, it has
lent itself to verbal fisticuffs in the media. “The contrasexual is the
embodiment of a monstrously selfish and arrogant age. She wants it all, but
on her terms, at her leisure, and only when she’s rich enough,” snarled the
Sunday Times.
If indeed this is a real syndrome in this country too — and you know some
Madison Avenue firms are burning the midnight oil trying to figure it out —
I’m not sure it’s a bad thing. These young women are not out to get a free
ride from society; they want to work hard and succeed big. Sure, they might
not care about marriage, and they may sleep around. But they’ll earn big
bucks and pay enough taxes to keep the Washington morals police off their
well- toned backs. Maybe.
Those damn career/single women are causing a fuss in South Korea as well.
According to the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs, three out of
10 single women in Korea emphasize career over marriage. This is a huge
affront in a country where women are expected to marry (and not work) early
in life.
Asked why they don’t want to marry, 24.4 percent of unmarried women replied
that they “don’t feel it is necessary.” And 20.1 percent of them cited “lack
of financial stability,” followed by “husband’s preference for wife to stay
home” with 9.8 percent and “responsibilities of married life” with 9.3
percent. And 4.4 percent of them said marriage is a disadvantage to women.
“It is noteworthy that women are more critical of marriage than men,” said
Lee Sam-shik, the researcher in charge of the study. Noteworthy, perhaps,
but not surprising.
And for the sex news: In a report also from the United Kingdom (oh those
Brits!), a survey of 1,800 TV watchers showed that one in five men
occasionally fake an orgasm.
The revelations came from a morning TV show that quizzed approximately 1,
800 viewers about their sex lives as part of a weeklong series. Nineteen
percent of men say they do fake it sometimes. And among young men —
supposed to be the most excitable demographic — the number is much higher:
42 percent of men ages 18-34 confessed to faking it.
Women also do, in numbers higher than you might imagine: 58 percent say they
feign a climax sometimes — although 1 in 5 say they regularly use a sex toy
to reach orgasm. In the same survey, adults polled said the best sex is in
your 30s or 40s — not in your 20s — because you are more experienced.
This story — about men faking orgasm — has been manna from heaven for
tabloids over there, but I don’t get what the big deal is. Everyone’s been
in the position before where something that needs to happen is just not
happening, and everyone is getting tired. I say it’s gentlemanly to feign
ecstasy and let everyone get some sleep.
And in our final news report from foreign lands: Being married can make you
sick — especially if you’re a woman older than 60.
Yes, a story out of New Zealand’s University of Queensland shows that
divorced, widowed and unmarried women are healthier in their later years
than their married counterparts. The results of the study, of 2,300 New
Zealanders older than 60, are a surprise considering the long-held belief
that married people tend to be healthier.
Men’s health, however, does not hinge on their marital status. Hmm, what’s
it all mean?
“Maybe married women are worn out from looking after their husbands,”
university researcher Belinda Hewitt postulated, risking the wrath of the
enlightened male contingent.
She added that it was widely accepted that married people had better social
lives but that the study showed that single ladies of a certain age were
every bit as likely to lead active, involved lives.
But we knew this, didn’t we?
E-mail Jane Ganahl at [email protected].
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress