Snoop & “Soul” to Be Locked Up
DeadBrain.com (Political Satire)
February 22 2005
By Mo Blacka
In a shrewd marketing move reminiscent of Disney’s animated classics,
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer has announced that Soul Plane is going to be
retired and put into the Lions Vault for the next 15 years.
Historically, The Walt Disney Company limited the distribution of
several of its time honored classics. Michael Eisner himself is on
record as saying, “Two reasons. It increases collectability and
improves profit margin by re-releasing old films into theaters every
20 years or so. It’s a win-win for the shareholder and movie viewing
consumer.”
Move over Disney, here comes MGM.
The impetus for this executive decision comes on the heels of the
Academy Awards recognition of both the film and Snoop Dogg’s riveting
performance on the big screen. An unnamed Academy source hinted that
screenwriters Bo Zenga and Chuck Wilson will receive a Lifetime
Achievement Award for their collaborative effort on the modern day air
travel epic.
Jessy Terrero, director of the film had mixed emotions. “I knew we had
something special on the set. I’m thrilled that I was able to work
with such consummate professionals as Snoop Dogg, Method, and Tom
Arnold. I just wish a Best Director nomination had come with it.”
MGM CEO Alex Yemenidjian could only be described as “giddy” at the
press conference confirming the news. “This is just what we need to
rebound from a few quarters that were below expectations financially.
We’ve decided to shorten the re-release span to 15 years to coincide
with the typical generational gap of our target audience.”
The Oscar presenter for the award is to be action star and thespian
Mr. Richard Roundtree. “I can dig it,” said Roundtree. Triple threat
actor/recording artist/playa Snoop Doggy Dogg (a.k.a. Calvin Broadus)
could not be reached for comment. His publicist said he was in talks
with rival Columbia Pictures regarding his own screenplay, based on
the 1980’s hit TV dance show Solid Gold. Possible titles? Vashizzle
Gold or Solid Golden Vashizzle.
Can you say blockbuster?