Holmesdale Online, UK

March 26 2005
6:37am

Rooney, the Student and Muff

March 25 2005

Our new betting tipster Gerry McDonnell gives his view on this week’s World
Cup qualifiers…

As much as I love the World Cup, I can’t for the life of me work out why a
pointless qualifier against Northern Ireland should take precedent over the
Premiership. Being a visionary, I have a solution to the problem. Qualifying
groups for future International competitions should involve the dead-wood
playing amongst themselves.

The likes of Andorra, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, San Marino and
Scotland should play each other in a series of matches, while the superior
teams, England, France, Italy etc, receive a bye. Once the chaff has been
eliminated, the seeds will play the qualifiers in a one off match on a
neutral venue.

The benefits of this scheme would lead to an extra five Premiership
weekends, allowing the English top flight to have a winter break, which
consequently leads to football odds compilers reaching a respectable
bevvying level over the Christmas period.

I await a reply from Sepp.

Now call me a modern-day philosophising genius if you must, but in order to
truly appreciate the few lagers at Christmas with the lads, having a few
games of pool, listening to the Libertines at the appropriate volume and
hitting the obligatory ruby house after; you occasionally have to endure an
evening in with the Mrs, drinking tea, watching a programme called Buffy the
Vampire Slayer, with children running around the room screaming, and the
closest you get to a curry is the “Tikka f****** jump” the other half
suggests when you enquire about dinner.

So let’s not look on the England match as the boring complete waste of 90
minutes mismatch that it clearly is, let’s be “half-full” people and take
advantage of the many betting opportunities available, knowing that the
Premiership returns in a week.

It’s sad to hear of Andy Johnson’s withdrawal from the England squad due to
injury, but bearing in mind England’s last International, where Sven’s
tactical genius made A.J. the most ridiculous right-winger since Robert
Kilroy-Silk, you can sympathise if the Palace man decided to pull a Giggs.

England’s first choice strike force of Owen and Rooney are fit to play
though; and young Michael is a hat-trick away from becoming England’s
all-time 4th highest goal scorer, an exceptional achievement for a 25 year
old. Bearing in mind he should be razor sharp due to being well-rested by
the Madrid manager, the 16/1 on offer from Paddy Power about Owen bagging
the three goals he needs seems quite generous.

If you don’t think it will be Michael’s day, the same firm offer 20/1 about
Rooney scoring three times, which would normally set him back around £90.

If you’re tuning in to the France v Switzerland match, the Swiss striker
Andre Muff looks a half decent bet to open the scoring. He’s as short as
10/1 with Ladbrokes, but I’m happy to advise you to get on A. Muff at 16/1
with Totesport. My footballing contacts inform me that Wayne Rooney has a
very high opinion of him, although Matthew Upson feels he is somewhat
over-rated.

My sources also claim that he has a reputation for simulation, but before
you run down to your local bookmakers and ask the bleached blonde cashier,
“What price Muff diving?” you should be aware that a kick in the testicles
can often offend.

Cliché watch:

What they say:
“There are no easy games in International football.”

What they mean:
“There are no easy games in International football, with the definite
exception of Scotland at home.”

Going up:
Joe Cole: The future of English football is 11/1 with William Hill to bag
the opener.

Going down:
Scotland: The latest FIFA World rankings show Scotland are now in a tie for
88th place, a distance behind the Footballing greats of the United Arab
Emirates and Burkina Faso. If you disagree with FIFA, you can get 20/1 about
the Jocks this weekend.

Quote of the week:

“Once a blue, always a blue.”
Student Patrick Hanrahan makes his point to Wayne Rooney in a Manchester
bar, before receiving a shoeing.

Tip of the week:

Don’t annoy Wayne Rooney in a boozer.

Weekend Betting:

England v Northern Ireland Saturday 26th March 15.00 Live on BBC

England 1/7 Super Soccer
Draw 6/1 UK Betting
Northern Ireland 22/1 Boylesports

Get on: England

Northern Ireland recently went 12 matches without scoring a goal, home win.
Match Special:
Lampard and Gerrard both to score 10/1 @ Sporting Odds

Wales v Austria Saturday 26th March 15.00 Live on Sky

Wales 11/10 Stan James
Draw 9/4 Bet Direct
Austria 11/4 William Hill

Get on: Wales

The Welsh are now Savage-less, and consequently look a better team. Earnshaw
and Bellamy are both in great goal scoring form. Another home win.
Match Special:
Bellamy to score the first goal 11/2 @ Totesport
Earnshaw to score the first goal 6/1 @ Ladbrokes

Poland v Azerbaijan Saturday 26th March 17.00 Live on Sky

Poland 1/5 Bet Direct
Draw 11/2 William Hill
Azerbaijan 16/1 Sporting Odds

Get on: Poland

Azerbaijan have previously recorded victories over Slovakia and Switzerland,
but let’s face it, they’re rubbish. Yet another home win.
Match Special:
Poland to win 1-0 8/1 @ William Hill

Israel v Rep Of Ireland Saturday 26th March 17.50 Live on Channel 5

Israel 21/10 Bet Direct
Draw 9/4 Boylesports
Rep Of Ireland 13/10 Sporting Odds

Get on: Draw

The Irish are top of the Group and are playing quite well. The Israeli’s are
no mugs though, score draw.
Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 11/2 @ BET 365

Italy v Scotland Saturday 26th March 19.45 Live on BBC Scotland

Italy 1/5 BET 365
Draw 5/1 Boylesports
Scotland 20/1 Super Soccer

Get on: Italy

Nothing is certain except deaths, taxes and if you’re at home to Scotland,
you spank those Sweaties.
Match Special:
Italy to win 5-0 28/1 @ Paddy Power

France v Switzerland Saturday 26th March 20.00 Live on Eurosport

France 4/9 Ladbrokes
Draw 7/2 Super Soccer
Switzerland 9/1 Totesport

Get on: France

The Swiss haven’t qualified for a World Cup since 1994, that trend will
continue as the French move to the top of their group.
Match Special:
A Muff to score at any time 9/2 @ Stan James

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