Mother Earth News
May 2 2005
Gag Writers are Funny People
A PHILOSOPHICAL RAMBLE by Larc Relhok, who still believes most good
Cartoonists are nothing more, nothing less than Gagwriters with one
head.
They really are funny. Particularly when you face the fact that 80%
of all published cartoons are written by them and not the cartoonist.
We inkstained churls can titter all we like – about Gagwriters
thinking themselves more important to Cartoondom than they really are
– but when the batches are ready for mailing, we cannot (dreamers
though we may be) fail to admit a hell of a lot of us would, many
times, be up the Proverbial Creek had we no faithful, talented
Gagwriter to churn up the basic idea or complete idea ready to be
decorated with characterization, perspective and styling.
I say this simply because – in addition to drawing cartoons – I write
cartoon ideas. This makes me a Gagwriter, doesn’t it? It must. I
write ideas for my own drawings. I’ve written them for other, more
proficient artists . . . and I’ve sold typed ideas directly to
various magazines.
Don’t knock Gagwriters to this Gagwriter, boys. I’m too sympathetic
to the breed.
But I must also admit that most Gagwriters are missing the boat in a
very profitable field, and have been missing it for Lo, these long
years. That’s funny too.
Here the magazines are, practically screaming for good, slanted humor
copy (in lengths of 1,500 to 2000 words) for which the editors will
delightedly pay 3¢ to 100¢ a warped adjective . . . and yet the
Gagwriter (as far as I’ve been able to tell) insists upon sticking
solely (or almost solely) to batting out cartoon ideas. Leaving
potential checks of $75 to $200 just laying there . . . in favor of
$2.50 checks for ideas sold through some cartoonist’s medium.
Know what I’d do if I couldn’t draw but had a sense of humor? I’d
find a cartoonist who would be willing to do three line (cartoon)
illustrations, on spec, for me. Then I’d pick a good, middle-market
book and bang out a well slanted humor piece directed to that book’s
readership. After that, I’d tell my illustrator how I wanted the
cartoon-illustrations. And, when the package sold (I’d market both
the illustrations and copy as a package), and I had the check in my
hot little hand, I’d kindly pay off my illustrator to the tune of $5
or $10 per drawing . . . depending upon how much our combined efforts
brought.
Puts the shoe on the other foot, for a pleasant change, eh?
Of course, since I do draw, I’ve been my collaboration team for quite
some time. Books like POPULAR ELECTRONICS, CATS MAGAZINE, SKIN DIVER,
HOT ROD, HOME MOVIES, CAR CRAFT, MOTOR TREND and others pay lovely
checks of $50 to $200 for cartoon illustrated (usually, three
drawings) humor pieces (averaging 1,500 words).
Furthermore, they are happy to get the written humor since nobody
seems to be taking the trouble (this is trouble?) to offer it to
them. A number of editors have told me they see tons of written
jokes, short (200 word) humorous fillers and – of course – the usual
deluge of cartoon roughs . . . but seldom do they find a jazzy, well
slanted humor piece complete with illustrations (thereby saving a
small budget book the cost of “farming out” the art work) in the
slush pile. When they do, occasionally, find one . . . they all cheer
and have an extra martini during lunch.
As far as my cartoon illustrated humor pieces are concerned, I have
experienced damn little difficulty selling them. Naturally, there are
reasons for this. Here are three of them: (1) I usually query the
editor in advance, briefing him on the particular approach or topic I
want to cover, (2) I make it my business to study the book I’m trying
to sell and (3) I always include cartoon illustrations since they
help me sell the script.
Maybe I better say that again, a bit louder: CARTOON ILLUSTRATIONS
WILL HELP SELL ANY WELL SLANTED, REASONABLY WELL WRITTEN HUMOR
SCRIPT.
Occasionally I see a brother cartoonist making a successful stab at
this specialized field . . . and doing very nicely at it. Pete Millar
is one artist whose ability to thrum up a Special Feature utilizing
words and cartoons is sheer pleasure.
There are others who, in addition to hawking their roughs, frequently
have a profitable change of pace into the Humor Piece department . .
but I seldom see a gagwriter hitting the bell. And this worries me..
It worries me because most gagwriters are supposed to be, basically,
Humorists. And if this assumption is true . . . why aren’t they
teaming up with cooperative (Cooperative: Thirty cent Armenian word
meaning, “Hell yes, I’d like to make a little extra gold, dad.”)
cartoonists and storming the Humor Piece field?
Like I say, it frets me. Editors were never more willing to be sold
written humor. Many of them actually offer bonus pay if the writer
will supply regular, monthly offerings slanted to their books. Bonus
pay (in case you’ve never heard of it) is sometimes $20, sometimes
$50, in addition to the regular check at whatever rates the books pay
or the writer (or writer/cartoonist team) can demand.
If you think this all sounds mighty like I’m smoking weird weeds, I
humbly suggest YOU try it and then try bringing me down after the
first three-figure check bruises your mailbox. You may, if you
insist, cable me your love. I dig everybody but ingrates.
And now you’ll excuse me. I have a stack of typers to illustrate,
several typed ideas to send PLAYBOY, another batch to get out for
some cartoony friends . . . and a regular stash of humor copy (I may
illustrate some if it myself) to get out.
Good Lord, there’s almost too much money to be made.
–Boundary_(ID_vhqHuupweyS477PrTV6h/A)–