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05/16/2005
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1) Mass Rally in Lebanon in Opposition to Electoral Law
2) Erdogan, Kocharian Expected to Meet at European Summit
3) Kocharian to Attend Summit on European Values and Challenges
4) Armenia Stands Ready to Fund Projects for Georgian Armenians
5) His Holiness Aram I Begins Official Visit to Iran
6) HED Thousands Fooled in Web Scam
7) Arizona Armenians Display Strong Support For ANCA
8) Glendale Ghapan Sister City Association to Send Medical
Delegation to Armenia
9) Armenian Moms and Daughters Make an Impact
10) Confessions of an Angry Armenian: Part 2
11) GEORGIANS, BUSH, SPAM, & OTHER ANNOYING THINGS
1) Mass Rally in Lebanon in Opposition to Electoral Law
BEIRUT (Aztagdaily/Reuters)–As the first round of elections approaches on May
29, thousands gathered in the center of Bourj Hammoud on Thursday to demand
that Lebanon’s Armenian community is justly represented in the country’s
parliament. Armenians and other minorities have consistently called for
reforming the existing 2000 electoral law that does not allow for equal
representation.
Addressing the crowd, Hratch Varjabedian stressed that adherence to
democratic
principles is the first step in ensuring not only mass voting, but also that
the population is justly represented in parliament. ARF Central Committee
member Hovhanness Taslakian, speaking in Arabic, said that the 2000
law–because of its failure to properly grant representation to Lebanon’s
Christian communities, especially the Armenian community–must be reformed.
“If justice is not restored and the Armenian people do not gain what they
justly deserve, then this gathering will be the first of many steps to
follow,”
said ARF CC member Hovig Bertizlian. “The ARF has exhausted efforts to reform
the 2000 electoral law so as to amend certain constituencies, but it appears
that that law will stand.”
The upcoming ballot will be the first without a direct Syrian presence in
Lebanon in 33 years and most Christians strongly object to the law.
Christian leaders, from top officials loyal to Syria to vehemently
anti-Damascus bishops, have slammed the electoral law, designed in 2000 to
help
Damascus allies win seats in the chamber they now dominate.
But with Syria ending its 29-year military and intelligence presence last
month, Christian loyalists have turned against the law, which carves the
country into a mixture of smaller and larger electoral districts.
The Taif Accord which ended the 1975-1990 civil war that split Lebanon into
Christian and Muslim enclaves, divides parliament’s 128 seats in half between
Muslims and Christians, whatever the rules.
Christians warn the 2000 law would upset the country’s delicate sectarian
balance by drowning out Christian voices in large voting districts
dominated by
Muslims.
2) Erdogan, Kocharian Expected to Meet at European Summit
(AP)–Leaders of neighbors Turkey and Armenia are expected to meet for rare
talks at a summit next week, a news agency said Friday.
Turkey’s Anatolia news agency said Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip
Erdogan
and President Robert Kocharian were expected to meet on the sidelines of a
Council of Europe summit scheduled for Monday and Tuesday in Warsaw. The date
of the meeting was not specified.
Turkish and Armenian officials could not immediately confirm the report.
However, Council of Europe spokesman Can Fisek said there were “strong
indications” the leaders would meet.
The talks are widely expected to focus on efforts to promote dialogue between
the two countries, which do not have diplomatic relations. Erdogan has
indicated the countries might establish political ties if Armenia agreed to
join a joint commission to investigate the killings. Armenia says it is ready
to re-establish relations with Turkey, but without any preconditions.
3) Kocharian to Attend Summit on European Values and Challenges
YEREVAN (Armenpress)–President Robert Kocharian will be in Warsaw on May
15 to
participate in a Council of Europe summit, as well as hold several meetings
with his counterparts. A meeting with Azeri president Ilham Aliyev is
reportedly expected, though not confirmed.
For the first time in history, the Heads of State and Government of 46
European democracies will meet in the Royal Castle of Warsaw on May 16-17 for
the Summit of European Unity, to reaffirm the core values on which Europe is
built, define the political mandate of the Council of Europe, and chart its
action for the coming years.
The principal tasks of the Council of Europe will be determined during three
sessions: European Unity and Values, Challenges for European Society, and
European Architecture.
At the first plenary session on May 16, the Council of Europe member states
will renew their commitment to the Council’s common values and principles
–above all, democracy, human rights and the rule of law–throughout the
continent. Priority will be given to the ensuring of the continued
effectiveness of the European Convention on Human Rights, the Council’s unique
human rights protection mechanism.
The second session will concentrate on concerted action in response to new
threats to the security of European citizens, such as terrorism, corruption
and
organized crime as well as trafficking in human beings. On this occasion,
three
new Council of Europe conventions–on the prevention and financing of
terrorism
and on trafficking in human beings–will be opened for signature. The session
will also address questions related to the building of a more humane and
inclusive Europe–such as social cohesion, protection of children, political
participation, the promoting of cultural diversity, and the fostering of
intercultural dialogue.
The final plenary session on May 17 will focus on ensuring cooperation of the
Council of Europe and other European partner organizations.
Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski will give the opening speech on May
16.
4) Armenia Stands Ready to Fund Projects for Georgian
Armenians
YEREVAN (Armenpress)–Prime Minister Andranik Margarian reaffirmed on May 12
Armenia’s readiness to help repair roads in the southern Georgian province of
Javakhk, populated mainly by ethnic Armenians.
Speaking to a news conference, he said the Armenian budget has
predetermined–for the third consecutive year–allocation of funds for
Georgian
Armenians, which will go to an Armenian theater in Tbilisi, repair of Armenian
schools, and publication of an Armenian language newspaper.
Margarian said an arrangement had been reached with late Georgian Prime
Minister Zurab Zhvania that Armenia would participate in financing projects
addressing the needs of Georgian Armenians, but added that the Georgian
government has not yet approved a plan of action designed for
Armenian-populated regions. “Once they have this plan approved, Armenia will
move quickly to support and fund it,” Margarian said.
5) His Holiness Aram I Begins Official Visit to Iran
TEHRAN (Armenpress)–Responding to an invitation of the three Dioceses of
Iran,
His Holiness Aram I traveled on an official visit to Tehran on May 11. His
two-week visit, from May 12-25, will include meetings with the public,
religious services, celebrations on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of
his
enthronement, and the 75th anniversary of the establishment of the Seminary.
This is the third visit of His Holiness to the Islamic Republic of Iran as
the
Catholicos of Cilicia. His Holiness has received a warm welcome by the Iranian
government during his previous visits to the republic. During his visit, the
Catholicos will have meetings with the president of the republic, Mohammed
Khatami, the spiritual leader of the country, and senior government officials.
On May 12, Aram I addressed the faithful with a church service and a prayer.
6) Thousands Fooled in Web Scam
Baseless Genocide Recognition Poll Site Forwarded Globally
By Jenny Kiljian
On Thursday, May 5, a Web site polling visitors about whether they believe
the
Armenian genocide should be recognized surfaced on the Internet and the link
began making its rounds to the inboxes of hundreds of thousands throughout the
world.
Often accompanied by urgent, frantic missives such as “The Turkish community
is distributing this link to get ‘no’ votes, please go and vote ‘yes,'” the
Web
site received more than 228,000 hits within three days.
By Monday, May 9, the site was unavailable because the host server could not
handle the overwhelming number of visitors. Asbed Kassis, a
California-based IT
consultant, researched what he called “the bogus poll” and discovered that the
person or group of people who built the site are based in Virginia, and were
using the telephone service provider Cogent Company to access the Internet.
The
site was built and hosted using Network54, which allows users to create and
participate in free forums, chat rooms and what are known in Web parlance as
voteletseasily generated survey and poll pages.
One visitor observed the poll about the Armenian genocide for 15 minutes and
he, too, said it was ludicrous. Jirayr Beugekian, IT manager for the Hairenik
Association, said that while the ‘yes’ votes changed with each individual
click, the ‘no’ votes remained largely static, jumping in periodic increments
of 300 at a time. This signaled to him that the person hosting the site was
manipulating the ‘no’ vote by hand, simply to make the poll appear credible.
The ‘yes’ clicks were not all unique, however, as thousands were informed
through further emails that a visitor could delete ‘cookies’ from a computer
and return to the site to vote ‘yes’ multiple times, according to Beugekian.
Cookies are short pieces of data used by web servers to help identify web
users. They don’t damage files or systems, and are only used to identify users
and track browsing habits.
While sites such as this might seem innocuous, both Kassis and Beugekian
advised people to be more careful about where they point their browsers. This
Web site, like many others, contained Google-sponsored advertisements and
search results at the top of the page. Each time a person visited the site,
the
person hosting it earned a commission from the hugely popular search engine.
“Several IT people have confirmed that the person was making money from the
poll,” said Kassis. “Since huge numbers of Armenians and others flocked to the
site, he or she got this high rating for traffic. The way the person made
money
was by getting a percentage of the amount charged for the advertisers per
click.”
While this site contained visible advertisements, similar scam Web sites,
explained Kassis, will embed pop-up-generating codes into nearly every link on
the site. A visitor might simply close the pop-up, not thinking of it as more
than the occasional nuisance that comes part and parcel with surfing the World
Wide Web. What these people don’t realize, Kassis said, is that they’re not
only polluting their computer, but their clicks are generating revenue for the
host.
A person could build a Web site and place numerous advertisements on the
pages, each netting him or her anywhere from a penny to 30 cents, or even
more,
per visitor or click, explained Beugekian.
By the time the poll site became unavailable on Monday, the person hosting it
could have made anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 through the clicks of
visitors. Although it is unclear whether the user simply deleted the page or
Network54 took the site down, Kassis said that people should send
complaints to
the host companies when they see such questionable sites. “The best way to get
trash like this off the host is to email Network54 with complaints. I’ve seen
this to work 90 percent of the time,” he said.
The Armenian National Committee of America (ANCA) sent a letter to the site
expressing the organization’s concern over the host being used to campaign
against Genocide recognition.
“This abuse of your Web sitemuch like similar efforts by Holocaust
deniersaims
to create doubt about historical realities,” wrote ANCA executive director
Aram
Hamparian. “Sadly, we still have among us those who, for their narrow
interests, seek to sow hatred and confusion about the Holocaust, the African
slave trade, the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, the
genocide in Rwanda, and many other facts of history. It is up to all people of
good conscience to reject hate and to not provide a platform to its
purveyors.”
Many others, while displeased that Genocide denial has been furthered through
technology, were less sympathetic to the exponential number of people who
visited the site and forwarded the link to hundreds of others in their
respective address books.
“I can’t believe Armenians would fall for this, and jump to it as if all our
future existence depends on it. We have become so very limited with our
Genocide past,” said Katia Peltekian. “There is nothing on the page about what
the purpose of this poll is, who is collecting the votes, for whom this voting
is being done, who is going to use this poll. The ‘no’ votes make no move
while
the ‘yes’ votes have jumped tremendously from almost zero to above sixty-one
percent since [Friday, May 6], when Armenians in a panic began forwarding this
message left, right and center.”
Nyree Derderian of California saved each email that was sent to her. In all,
she said, she received the link 142 times.
“There are new kinds of predators out there in this new world,” said Tatul
Sonentz-Papazian. He received the link to the site, but said he summarily
deleted it. “People are gullible, and they shouldn’t be so gullible. They
become tools in the hands of those scam artistspeople are falling for it, and
it’s ridiculous.”
Jenny Kiljian is the editor of The Armenian Weekly.
7) Arizona Armenians Display Strong Support For ANCA
–ANCA Chairman Ken Hachikian and Board Member Raffi Hamparian Update
Community
on Nationwide Hai Tahd Efforts
PHOENIX–The Armenian American community of the Grand Canyon State of Arizona
displayed its pride and full support for the Armenian National Committee of
America (ANCA) at a fundraising reception held on May 7. The gathering in
Phoenix, organized by the Armenian National Committee of Arizona (ANC-AZ),
drew
a broad cross section of community members who donated their hard earned
dollars to strengthen the advocacy efforts of the ANCA in Washington, DC.
Event
sponsors included longtime and well-respected Phoenix residents Mr. & Mrs.
Greg
and Emma Melikian and their extended family.
The featured speakers at the reception were ANCA Chairman Ken Hachikian and
ANCA Board Member Raffi Hamparian. Hachikian expressed the organization’s
appreciation for the warm welcome he received in Phoenix.
“The ANCA derives its strength from each of you–our grassroots,” Hachikian
remarked. “Your activism here in Phoenix is part of a dynamic equation that
makes the ANCA a powerful voice for our community in Congress. Simply put, we
could not achieve our many successes without you,” he emphasized.
Following ANCA Chairman Hachikian’s remarks, a video of the organization’s
ANCA Capital Gateway Program was shown. The video documents an ANCA initiative
launched two years ago that brings Armenian American college graduates from
around the nation to Washington, DC, pays for their housing, and helps them
find public policy jobs, including jobs on Capitol Hill with Members of
Congress. The ANCA Capital Gateway Program has placed over 20 candidates thus
far.
“The State of Arizona is home to a number of very important public officials,
including Senator and potential 2008 Presidential candidate John McCain and
Congressman Jim Kolbe, who chairs the Congressional committee that
appropriates
US foreign aid to Armenia,” stated ANC-AZ Chairman, Yeprem Tchaylian. “I am
very proud that the Arizona ANC can lead the way in educating the growing
Armenian American community about the importance of being involved in the
civic
and political affairs of our state,” added Tchaylian.
On Sunday, May 8, Raffi Hamparian, who also serves on the ANCA Western Region
(WR) Board of Directors, led a training workshop with ANC-AZ leaders,
including
Tchaylian, and dedicated activists Yervant Baltajian, Zarouhi Baltajian, Anto
Nazikian, and Anto Tchaylian, as part of the ANCA-WR’s ongoing effort to
assist
local ANC chapters in developing strategies and planning initiatives to reach
out to local, state, and federal government officials. The workshop built on a
similar seminar held last year in Arizona by former ANCA-WR Executive Director
Ardashes Kassakhian.
“The Arizona ANC is a bright, up and coming star within our organization,”
commented Raffi Hamparian. “I look forward to seeing the results of these
efforts in growing communities across the country,” noted Hamparian.
8) Glendale Ghapan Sister City Association to Send Medical Delegation to
Armenia
GLENDALE–The Glendale Ghapan Sister City Association (GGSCA) has organized a
delegation of medical experts and professionals to visit Armenia in September
to promote a better understanding of the country’s history, people, and
culture
among Glendale’s medical community, and to familiarize Armenia’s health
administrators and professionals with the American healthcare system model.
The delegation includes Hon. Larry Zarian, Governing Board Member of Glendale
Adventist Hospital and former Glendale City Councilmember; Scott Reiner, Chief
Executive Officer of Glendale Adventist Hospital; Carl Ermshar, the hospital’s
Chief of Staff; Dr. Alber Karamanoukian, a Glendale-based physician; and
representatives of GGSCA.
“We are very excited about our upcoming delegation to Armenia,” said Artin
Manoukian, President of GGSCA. “Both the delegation, as well as the medical
community in Armenia, will learn a great deal from this exchange, and as a
result will be able to provide a higher quality of care to their patients in
the long run.”
The delegation will travel to Yerevan and Ghapan where they will visit
medical
institutions, as well as meet with various medical professionals, government
officials, and health administrators. They will also visit historical and
cultural sites throughout the two cities.
“Because of Glendale’s large Armenian population, the City’s medical
community
provides care to thousands of Armenians,” said Larry Zarian, Governing Board
Member of Glendale Adventist Hospital. “Through exchanges such as this
delegation, our health providers can become more familiar with the culture and
history of the people they serve.”
The non-profit organization was founded in 2001 to foster relations, as well
as cultural and economic cooperation between Glendale, California and Ghapan,
Armenia.
9) Armenian Moms and Daughters Make an Impact
By Adriana Tchalian
Over 60,000 men, women, and children gathered at the Los Angeles Memorial
Coliseum on Saturday, May 7–Mother’s Day weekend–for the annual Revlon
Run/Walk for Women. The event represents the nation’s largest 5K fundraiser,
which has so far raised over 30 million dollars for women’s cancer research.
One of the largest groups participating this year was Team #813–Armenian
Moms
and Daughters–whose efforts, led by co-captains Alice Chakrian and Eileen
Keusseyan, helped raise almost six thousand dollars. According to team member
Shake’ Tokatlian, “One hundred and sixty seven Armenian men, women and
children
were registered to walk in this year’s event.” She, along with her
daughter-in-law, Caroline Tokatlian, was among many first-time participants in
what has become an annual Armenian tradition.
Created by the Entertainment Industry Foundation, Lilly Tartikoff, Ronald O.
Perelman, and The Davis Group, the day-long event also included a Health Expo
and Celebration Concert and featured celebrities such as Halle Berry, Marcia
Cross, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Lucy Gulvartian–whose teenage daughter, Lar, was also amongst this year’s
participantsexplained, “a small group of us, headed by Alice and Eileen, began
walking some three years ago in support of women whose lives have been
affected
by cancer. The number of participants kept growing every year, and now we’re a
community-wide movement.” Tokatlian added, “This team of women is not only
helping to raise funds, but also consciousness about women’s health, a subject
long overlooked by researchers and the public alike.”
For more information about Armenian Moms and Daughters, or to make a
donation,
visit (Team #813) or call 310-393-6344.
10) Confessions of an Angry Armenian: Part 2
Recognition is about Honesty, Justice is about Remorse
By George Aghjayan
As acceptance of the historical fact of the Armenian genocide becomes
prevalent in Turkish society, there has been a similar movement to label such
acknowledgements as extraordinary. Some, such as David Phillips and other
members of TARC, go so far as to take credit for the movement, as if the
last 5
years of rapid change in the Armenian struggle for justice can be viewed
separately from the previous 85 years or the Armenian Cause separately from a
growing human rights movement in Turkey.
So often, we characterize Turkish denial as born from ignorance, when in fact
it is born from a common agenda with the perpetrators of the crime. In that
context, acknowledgement of the Armenian genocide–whether by a Turkish
citizen
or by a United States President–is about honesty regarding the facts of
history. Those that deny are dishonest and ill-suited as a party to dialogue.
While we can acknowledge the extraordinary bravery of those who risk criminal
prosecution and imprisonment to acknowledge the Armenian genocide within the
Republic of Turkey, we must not confuse this as a triumph of the Armenian
Cause. Instead, we must recognize it for what it is–simple honesty.
Acknowledgement is the ticket to the table of reconciliation, nothing more.
Justice is the necessary next stage as it indicates not only an
acknowledgement, but also an understanding of the magnitude and wrongness of
the crime, as well as a sense of remorse.
Recognition of a crime is not enough to show an acceptance for it being
wrong.
In fact, recognizing the crime committed and the gains obtained without
penalty
encourages similar criminal acts. Thus, we can begin to understand why justice
for the Armenian genocide has relevance today and extends beyond the Armenian
community.
Over the course of events this year commemorating the 90th anniversary of the
Armenian genocide, it was continually mentioned that recognition was necessary
so that genocide would not happen again. This claim makes little sense as
stated. Recognition without justice will guarantee genocide will happen again.
There are a number of arguments against justice being presented by some in
the
community, beyond the ignominious ICTJ report of TARC. The reason for such
views depends on the source. There are those that simply adhere to the agenda
of the US State Department, others are naïve, while still others overlook the
needs of humanity for their own selfish interests.
Regardless of the reason for the challenge, those who fully understand the
necessity for justice must respond. The following are arguments being
presented
along with what I feel are appropriate responses. They are not meant to be
exhaustive, but they do represent my feelings on the matter.
“I do not want money nor do I plan on living on any land that is returned to
the Armenians.” This argument has two very different aspects to it. In the
first case, one may feel this way because the crime of the Armenian
genocide is
so great that no money or land can truly compensate for the loss. While it is
true that there can be no perfect compensation for the loss the Armenian
people
suffered–a loss so great that this small article cannot begin to expose–this
should not preclude any justice. My explanation above should suffice as
justification for more than just acknowledgement of the crime. We would not
accept acknowledgement alone for the smallest of crimes, why then should we
accept it for the greatest crime against humanity, genocide.
Going further, this claim for recognition alone meets with some measure of
acceptance because once the denial ends, the Genocide itself will end for many
people. That is not to say that there is resolution, but simply that when we
are subjected to genocide denial we become victims and are one with the
victims
of 90 years ago. Denial causes us pain and the deniers understand and embrace
that pain in the same way the perpetrators did some 90 years ago. Recognition
is expected to end the pain denial causes today.
However, we, as victims of genocide, have a responsibility to fight for more
than just recognition. In addition, while acknowledgement by the Turkish
government may marginalize denial, it will not end it. One only need look at
the proliferation of Holocaust denial as an example.
Another aspect to consider is the unabashed selfishness of such a view.
While
the descendents of the remnants of the Armenian nation fortunate enough to
have
come to the United States may have reached some level of affluence and rarely
fear ethnic based prejudice, that does not necessarily hold for all diaspora
Armenians nor even Armenians in Armenia.
Restitution of land and reparations could meaningfully assist in the
perpetuation of the Armenian nation–the destruction of which was the stated
objective of the crime. To view restitution of land and reparations solely in
the context of the individual is the height of selfishness.
Another common theme is that calls for justice hinder Turkey’s ability to
recognize the Armenian genocide. It may be of interest to note that this same
argument has been used to blame the resolution of Jewish claims against Swiss,
German, French and Austrian banks for the recent rise in anti-Semitism.
It is inconceivable to me that such perverse logic is taken as reasonable.
The
perpetrator of a crime is being requested by the victim group (and others) to
partially atone for the crime and the resultant prejudice is seen as
reasonable. Once again, Armenians are placed in the position of emasculating
themselves in order to achieve the crumbs of human rights that everybody else
considers basic.
This is the epitome of a slave mentality. For centuries, Armenians have lived
as second-class citizens; so much so that we accept in regards to the Armenian
genocide something that would be absurd in any other aspect of our lives.
Closely related is the notion that today’s Turk is not responsible for the
crime of the Armenian genocide and, thus, cannot be held accountable. Beyond
the consideration that denial is the final stage of genocide and, thus, the
crime continues to this very day as a result, there is also the aspect that
genocide is a state crime and the current Turkish state is the successor of
that which began the crime over 90 years ago.
In addition, one need only read current news accounts as validation of the
continuing nature of the Armenian genocide. I have directly witnessed the
destruction of Armenian cultural sites, the desecration of Armenian graves,
and
the outright falsification of our national history.
It has been openly stated that the blockade of Armenia by Turkey is meant to
create poverty of such a level so as to encourage immigration and, thus,
create
an Armenia empty of Armenians. In addition, the struggle over Artsakh
cannot be
viewed separately from the continuing nature of the Armenian genocide. Armenia
without Armenians has always been the objective and the current Turkish
government is just as culpable as that which ruled a century ago.
Much has been made of the conclusion in the ICTJ report that Armenian
genocide
claims cannot be put forth under the UN Convention on the Prevention and
Punishment of the Crime of Genocide. That is only the tip of a very large
issue
and ignores so much of the real need for justice, however imperfect that
justice might be.
11) GEORGIANS, BUSH, SPAM, & OTHER ANNOYING THINGS
BY SKEPTIK SINIKIAN
Just when you thought things could not possibly be stranger than they have
been for the last five years of George W. Bush’s presidency, we are treated to
him shaking his “vorig” like a backup dancer for Britney Spears in a public
square in Tbilisi, Georgia. If you’ve missed this piece of news footage–which
ironically was immediately taken off of national and international airwaves in
favor of a late breaking story of a two-seater Cessna airplane getting lost in
Washington, DC airspace (Congress and Senate were immediately evacuated)–the
President’s gyrating hips were replaced with images of Senators and
Congressman
spilling out of the Capitol like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Who’s wagging
the dog now?
As an American, I apologize to the Georgian people. I apologize to the
Georgians, even though they are acting like ingrates by converting all of
Georgia’s historic Armenian churches to Georgian Orthodox. In spite of their
malicious attempts to destroy Georgia’s Armenian cultural heritage, I still
feel compelled to apologize for my President’s ridiculous Hawaiian hula shake
which apparently was meant to resemble a traditional Georgian dance. Doesn’t
the President have a protocol attaché that accompanies him to places and
explains cultural behavior and nuances beforehand? At least he didn’t puke on
Georgian President Saakashvili’s lap during the state dinner like his father
did in Japan. Although, I’ve heard that puking in someone’s lap is the second
most popular way of thanking someone in Georgia–the most popular, of course,
being the desecration of someone else’s religious sites.
When I first heard that the President was visiting Georgia, I thought there
must have been a huge mistake. His staff told him he was headed to Georgia and
“Dubya” thought he was headed to Atlanta and not Tbilisi. The highlight for me
was the look on Laura Bush’s face as her husband was dancing. It was that same
humiliated look my ex-girlfriend used to get anytime I would try to sing in
public. Speaking of other embarrassments, if you sent out an email last week
asking friends and family to vote in a poll on a website to recognize the
Genocide, hang your head in shame. At last count, I have received about 30
emails from different people, all of them urging me to go on some website and
vote on the following question–“Should the Turkish Government Recognize the
Armenian Genocide?”
I actually logged on to the site out of mere curiosity. The results were not
surprising. I saw that the breakdown was about 87% answering NO and only 4%
were YES to this ridiculous question. I deleted the e-mail because the site
did
not look like a legitimate site and because there are better ways of pursuing
Genocide recognition than through someone’s homemade website. I also figured
that the whole site was a scam set up by someone who was getting paid per
click–a website marketing scheme still used by some internet companies. I
hoped that most folks would see right through this online scam. But before I
knew it, my mailbox was receiving 10 emails a day urging me to help the
Armenian Cause by going to this site and voting on it multiple times and
urging
the Turks to recognize the Genocide. EVERY DAY! TEN E-MAILS! I believe
this is
the first ever recorded instance of Armenian Spam on the internet. SPAM is a
term used to describe any unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature,
sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups;
junk e-mail. Before you know it, we’ll all be receiving e-mails asking us
if we
want to refinance our home in Armenia, offering us cheap prescription drugs
from Uzbekistan, of offering miracle drugs made of secret Caucasus mountain
herbs which will help us either control our hair loss or lose weight or
both if
we want.
I’m so frustrated with people who actually participated in this stupid online
survey. I can’t believe that there are folks out there who actually fell for
this? What? It was on the Republic of Armenia’s official diaspora page you
say?
Yes it was! Armenia’s government even fell for this stupid scam. Thousands
upon
thousands voted for this stupid poll and I bet only a third of those who voted
have ever actually called a member of Congress to urge them to raise levels of
aid to Armenia, acknowledge the autonomy of Artsakh or reaffirm the facts of
the Armenian genocide. This is the result of the internet, materialistic, mass
consumer age we live in. It’s the kind of age where if we want at least
100,000
Armenians to show up to a Genocide event, then we better start thinking of
ways
to build a Genocide memorial in Las Vegas, Nevada, right by Caesar’s Palace,
because I bet you more Armenians will go to Las Vegas on April 24 than to any
community event!
I better stop before the vein in my forehead bursts! Let’s talk about more
lighthearted topics. What better than coming full circle and ending our
conversation with another Bush anecdote. You know, I’m glad George W. Bush won
the Presidency. I don’t know what I would have done without the Bush family’s
shenanigans to keep me entertained. I’m going to ask a “True or False”
question
and I’ll let you guess the answer. Ready?
True or False? After decades of being denied the right to vote, last week
Kuwaiti women were finally granted suffrage by the Kuwaiti parliament.
If you said true! Congratulations! ou’re an idiot. If you said false!
Congratulations! You get an “A+” in “Oppressive Arabic Societies and the
Powerful US Leaders Who Support Them 101” Course. That’s right! Kuwait–the
country we sent 425,000 American troops to defend, and spent 71 billion
dollars
to save from Iraq–does not allow women the right to vote. Never has. Never
will. In Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, women were granted to right to vote back in
1980.
But wait! President Bush told us we, and the freedom loving nations of the
world, had to push Saddam out of Kuwait to preserve and defend liberty and
other American values! What if Saddam was actually in Kuwait to liberate the
women? Impose Iraqi laws on the oppressive Kuwaiti regime? That could never
happen. The Bush family would never lie to us. Saddam had weapons of mass
destruction. I heard he also liked sleeping with farm animals and that he was
an unrepentant fan of Adolph Hitler. Not like our buddies in Kuwait. Those
wacky guys who last week voted to deny Kuwaiti women the right to vote because
they argued that involvement in politics “would make them [women] neglect
their
families.” Ah…the “Your place is in the kitchen argument!” Very sophisticated
and so 17th century! It’s nice to see Kuwait standing up for wholesome,
antiquated Victorian values. What’s next? Reintroducing the 18 hour work day
for children between the ages of 9 15?
Well, let’s not start bashing the Kuwaitis just yet. Let’s take a vote. All
those who think we should still support Kuwait in spite of its oppressive
policies raise your hand! Everyone’s vote will count the same. Women in
Kuwait
are excluded. So are minorities in Ohio and Florida. I’ll tell you the results
next week.
Skeptik Sinikian is currently making millions of dollars by forwarding e-mails
sent to him by powerbrokers at Mikrosoft. For each email Skeptik forwards to
someone, he receives 30 cents plus a lifetime supply of “You’re an idiot”
comments from friends. If you would like to learn more about this offer, email
him at [email protected] or visit his blog at
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