Do Not Look for Happiness Overseas

ArmenPress
July 15 2005

YEREVAN, JULY 15, ARMENPRESS: More and more Armenians have begun to
think about marrying a foreigner, especially an expatriate, who could
take them out of the country that is still facing heavy economic
problems but they seem to be unaware or ignorant of the negative
demographic impact their decision may have.

No one knows just how many Armenians left their country since 1991
when it broke away from the former Soviet Union, but even the most
conservative estimates put the total at around one million. The exodus
has made Armenia one of the fastest-disappearing nations in the world,
dubbed by some experts as “depopulation” calling into question whether
Armenia is a country with a future. In a country with no significant
natural resources, a collapsed Soviet industrial infrastructure and
an economy just now showing signs of recovery, many Armenians had
little choice but to leave. About 80 percent headed to Russia and
other parts of the former Soviet Union; the rest joined the earlier
Diaspora in the United States or Western Europe.

The wave of departures, which hit a high of about 200,000 a year in the
mid-1990s, has stabilized in recent years, but the cumulative effect
remains. Far more Armenians now live outside their homeland than
in it. The society that stayed has far fewer working-age men, fewer
marriages, fewer births. Women outnumber men 56 percent to 44 percent.

But the trend of mixed marriages is set to increase as the local
society is becoming gradually more open to the rest of the world.

Even under the Soviets many Armenian nationals wanted to marry a
Diaspora Armenian or foreigners from Western countries. An official
from justice ministry’s civilian registry introduced us to an Armenian
woman and a German male who arrived in Yerevan to register their
marriage here. Both appeared to be happy to answer all our questions,
but refused to disclose their names. The woman, who has been living
with her family in Germany for seven years already, said she and
her fiance, let us call him Hans, came to Armenia to register their
marriage here because the procedure is very complicated in Germany. But
when we asked her about Armenians in Germany, she said many of them,
especially men, get involved in various fraudulent deals in an effort
to receive permission for permanent residence or citizenship. When
their tricks are revealed, they create a negative perception of
Armenians by Germans. She said many Armenian men, who are living
in Germany illegally, befriend local women, declare their love for
them – even women twice their age – and often marry them just to get
residence permission or citizenship. She even recalled several cases
when Christian Armenians married German Turks, something difficult
to imagine in other places, explaining that Turks are treated well in
Germany, making the Armenians’ chance of getting residence permission
higher.

“At any rate I cannot understand how a Christian Armenian and a Muslim
Turk can make a union,” she said, adding also that religious belonging
is appreciated stronger and higher by Armenians living outside their
homeland. She said her decision to marry a German was based on true
love. Hans confirmed this saying they have known one another for a
long time before they decided to marry. Susanna Stepanian from the
Armenian justice ministry said foreigners rarely marry Armenians. The
majority of mixed marriages usually involve Armenian citizens and
a Diaspora Armenian. Divorces are rare because Diaspora Armenians’
decisions are weighed and conscious, based on common Armenian national
peculiarities and traditions.

“For Diaspora Armenians it is very important to know where the bride
or fiance comes from and if they track down any bad reputation this
will undoubtedly affect their decision,” she said. She recalled a case
involving a young Armenian man who was born and grew up in the USA. His
family had lived in Armenia before moving to the USA, and they had not
lost touch with their next door neighbor in Armenia, whose daughter
eventually agreed to marry the American boy who visited Armenia
several times. Out of 26,000 marriages registered last year only 26
were mixed marriages between Armenian and foreign citizens. Susanna
Stepanian said she never had met a foreigner marrying an Armenian
citizen with an ulterior motive, as is the case with Armenians abroad,
because Armenian legislation is clear and simple concerning residence
permission or granting citizenship. She said three such couples
registered by the civilian registrar’s office this year decided to live
in Armenia. In order to find out what attracts Armenian men and women
to foreigners and vice versa, we asked Mane Asatrian from one of the
local international dating marriage clubs to share her impressions. She
said foreigners seeking an Armenian spouse usually have some knowledge
about the country and people. They are attracted by the Armenians’
traditional devotion to their families, and apply to such clubs
in the hope that their Armenian wife of husband will cement their
union. The majority of applicants are foreign men wishing to marry
an Armenian woman, whom they have heard are known for their modesty,
devotion to the family and are excellent mothers. They are mainly men
from the USA and Canada. One of them worked in Armenia for some time
and now keeps in touch with an Armenian girl here through email.

Mane Asatrian said the club has this year helped 20 people to establish
contacts. It also has hundreds of Armenian applicants, both men and
women, but the majority apply for reasons other than marriage. “On the
application forms they write simultaneously that they want to have
a nice time and to marry, which does not seem logical for a man or
woman wishing to marry. This means that the majority of applicants
do not appreciate the main goal of the club and try to take every
opportunity to live abroad,” she said. We also spoke with Armen
Ashotian, a member of parliament and chairman of the youth wing of
the governing Republican party. Ashotian welcomed any marriage,
especially a marriage between an Armenian citizen and a Diaspora
Armenian, and especially when they decide to settle down in Armenia.