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10/17/2005
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1) Azerbaijan: still waiting for Rasul Guliyev
2) First Population Census in Mountainous Karabagh Republic since Independence
3) Hawk’s Eye View of Armenia and Italy
4) SKEPTIK SINIKIAN: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE BORDER?

1) Azerbaijan: still waiting for Rasul Guliyev

BAKU (Eurasianet.org)Azeri opposition leader Rasul Guliyev, chairman of the
Democratic Party of Azerbaijan, was detained by Ukrainian law enforcement
authorities on October 17 while trying to return to Baku after nine years in
exile.
The former parliamentary speaker was arrested in the Simferopol Airport, in
the capital of Crimea, Ukraine, en route to Baku from London to take part in
the November 6 parliamentary elections. Guliyev was stopped at the airport at
the request of Azeri authorities and is now being questioned by an Interpol
representative in Crimea. A decision on the outcome of Guliyev’s case is still
pending, according to statements made by the Simferopol regional police
department to news agencies.
Guliyev, who was expected to arrive in Baku around 4pm local time, had
chartered a flight earlier in the day from London to Simferopol where he
negotiated with Azeri authorities to be allowed to fly on to Baku.
According to
Sabir Ilyasov, vice-president of Azerbaijan Airlines, the state-owned company
that runs Baku’s airport, the company received a landing request from a
chartered plane carrying five passengers, including Guliyev. “We allowed them
to land in Baku’s airport, but he [Guliyev] refused to do it,” Ilyasov said.
Guliyev, however, has stated that the plane was denied permission to land.
Members of Guliyev’s Democratic Party of Azerbaijan, a member of the
tripartite Azadlig bloc, the largest opposition election alliance, have said
that the authorities fear Guliyev’s return, and have argued that a large
number
of senior Azerbaijani officials support the return of the opposition leader
from exile.
Speaking in a paid advertising slot on the Azerbaijani TV station ANS on
October 12, DPA member Qurban Mammadov vowed to publicize the names of these
officials after Guliyev’s return to Azerbaijan. “Many people will reveal their
positions then,” Mammadov said. “Thousands of state officials, including those
with a high rank, have become members of the national committee for protecting
the rights of Rasul Guliyev.”
General Prosecutor Zakir Garalov has repeatedly emphasized that the state
intends to pursue its prosecution of Guliyev, wanted since 2000 on charges of
embezzling more than $100 million in state funds while head of Azerbaijan’s
Azarneftyag oil refinery. Guliyev, who has been placed on an international
wanted list, has denied the accusation and called it a political fabrication.
Guliyev fled to the United States in 1996 after a falling out with then
President Heidar Aliyev, father of Azerbaijan’s current leader, President
Ilham
Aliyev.
It is expected that representatives of the interior ministry will leave for
Ukraine within a few days to negotiate Guliyev’s extradition to Azerbaijan,
ministry spokesman Sadiq Gezalov said. Although a candidate for parliament,
Guliyev has been denied immunity from prosecution.
Nonetheless, it is unclear how Guliyev’s return to Azerbaijan–even under
extradition–will play with members of the opposition. Guliyev’s supporters
had
been urging followers to welcome him at Baku International Airport on October
17. On October 16, Interior Minister Ramil Usubov cautioned journalists and
diplomats to stay away, warning of likely clashes with police forces.
As of 10AM on Monday morning, automobile traffic on the highway leading to
the
airport was strictly restricted. Scores of Interior Ministry troops, armed
with
automatic rifles and wearing helmets, joined traffic police at a beefed-up
checkpoint on the road between the airport and Baku.
Usubov explained the heavy troop deployment by saying that authorities had
received information that the so-called “radical” opposition intended to
attack
the airport and the surrounding areas in a two-pronged attack, under
pretext of
welcoming Guliyev. In a broadcast on the pro-government Lider TV, police
showed
several combat grenades and a pistol found on the roadside approaching Baku’s
airport. Police were also deployed within Baku, around the parliament
building,
the Soviet-era government house and Freedom Square, an occasional meeting
place
for unauthorized opposition demonstrations.
Among those turned away from the airport was US Ambassador Reno Harnish,
Azerbaijani Public TV reported. “All private and embassy cars have been banned
from entering the airport territory since the participation in such an action
runs counter to diplomatic activities,” read an interior ministry statement in
reference to the refusal to allow Harnish access to the airport. “Only people
with tickets for certain flights and staff of the airport are allowed to enter
the airport in special buses.” In preparation for Guliyev’s arrival, law
enforcement agencies also arrested 26 individuals who officials believed
likely
to cause “provocation” in connection with the opposition leader’s return.
Former Finance Minister Fikrat Yusifov, and the former head of the Ganja city
police department [and the incumbent DPA deputy chairman], Natiq Effendiyev,
were among them. In an interview with the privately owned pro-government Lider
TV, Interior Minister Usubov claimed that those arrested “bribed some people
and . . . have drawn up plans to use force against the police. This plan
exists.”
The minister claimed that 100,000 euros, $60,000, a pistol, and additional
funds “for Guliyev’s return” were found in Yusifov’s apartment.
Turan news agency reported that Democratic Party political council member
Gurban Mamedov and Guliyev’s nephew, Etibar Guliyev, have been detained by
police.
By the evening of October 17, more than 1,000 activists from the opposition
Azadlig bloc had been arrested, according to Democratic Party of Azerbaijan
headquarters. The interior ministry, however, puts the number of detainees at
only 10-35 people.

2) First Population Census in Mountainous Karabagh Republic since Independence

STEPANAKERT (Armenpress)–Authorities in Mountainous Karabagh Republic will
conduct a population census October 18-27, making it the first since since the
country declared independence from Azerbaijan. Officials said the census is
another step towards “consolidating Karabagh’s independence.”
In guiding the procedure, Armenia will be sending the head of its National
Statistics Committee, Stepan Mnatsakanian, to detail the process that will be
conducted by a government commission, which Karabagh’s deputy prime minister
heads.
President Arkady Ghukasian said the census is necessary in order for the
government to target specific projects and forecast socio-economic
developments, based on the returns.
The last census in Karabagh was held in 1989, when the population was 192,000
(76 percent Armenian; 23 percent Azeri; 1 percent Russian and Kurd).

3) Hawk’s Eye View of Armenia and Italy

YEREVAN (Combined Sources)–Photographer Hrair “Hawk” Khatcherian presented
his
new “Soaring Hawk,” 160-page photo album last week at the Nareg Arts Union
Hall. The photos, taken from a helicopter, represent all regions of Armenia
and
historical-cultural complexes of Mountainous Karabagh, Lake Sevan, mountains,
as well as different corners of the capital city of Yerevan. “Our country is
amazing from above,” says the Canadian Armenian photographer.
Addition works by Khatcherian, more than 50 photographs of medieval Armenian
and cultural monuments in Venice and Rome, are featured in an exhibit that
kicked-off on Monday in Yerevan to celebrate Days of Armenian-Italian
Friendship.
Commissioned by Armenia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the exhibit of the
Canadian Armenian photographer will run through October 21.
Days of Armenian-Italian Friendship, organized jointly by the Ministry of
Foreign Affairs and the Embassy of Italy in Armenia, also features a one-month
festival of 15 films directed by the world-famous Taviani brothers, a National
Gallery exhibit titled “See the Country of Italy,” as well as a collection of
treasures of the Mkhitarian Order in Saint Lazarus Island in Venice, Italy.

4) SKEPTIK SINIKIAN: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE BORDER?

Remember back a few months ago, when an entire herd of sheepliterally hundreds
of sheepjumped off a cliff to their deaths in some village in Eastern Turkey
and nobody could explain why? Well, apparently sheep aren’t the only farm
animals that Turkey’s farmers have problems raising. This week, the World
Health Organization and numerous other health organizations announced that
Turkey has suffered an outbreak of the infamous Avian “Bird” flu. “What does
that mean?” you ask. Well, let me put it this way: If you’re in Turkey and you
start sniffling, shivering, and coughing then don’t have the chicken noodle
soup. Why? Because you just might be looking at the source.
The Avian “Bird” Flu is a disease that originated in Asia and is transmitted
through birds, specifically chickens. Apparently, it’s very dangerous, having
killed 60 people since 2003 and the virus spreads like wildfire. In fact, the
World Health Organization is predicting a pandemic soon. Not just an epidemic
but a PANdemic. In case you were wondering, a pandemic is worse than an
epidemic. It’s an epidemic on steroids. Europe is shaking in its boots. As if
Europe needed yet another reason to reject Turkey’s accession into the
European
Union, the news of the bird flu in Turkey could not have come at a better
time.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying “OK, Skepo. We get it. Chicken flu.
Turkey. We see the poultry puns coming a mile away.” Well, you’re wrong. This
is serious business. Poor Turkey already became the butt of all sheep jokes
with the mass suicide of 450 sheep. Now it has to quarantine almost 8000
chickens due to the lethal virus.
I’m not saying that the spread of this disease was avoidable. No country is
completely safe from this disease. For all I know, the next 9 piece chicken
McNugget Happy Meal I order may come with an extra helping of McFlu. But I’m
willing to bet hard currency that the Turkish authorities still don’t have
this
problem under control and instead of tightening security and monitoring all
imports, some corrupt official is allowing truckloads of chickens across the
border as you read this.
Another message this epidemic outbreak sent across the Bosphorus to Europe is
that the Republic of Turkey is in a sad, disorganized, and corrupt state and
that they can’t take care of their own poultry. Now, Armenians have known for
sometime that something was “a foul” in Turkey (I tried but I couldn’t resist)
but now, slowly but surely, the rest of the world is witnessing how
incompetent
the Turkish government is.
This must be a serious blow to Turkey’s ego. But Turkish citizens, don’t
worry. The Turkish government’s top historians and spin doctors are hard at
work at this very moment rewording the recent events that have occurred in
their country to fit their psychological needs. I can just imagine what the
official stance of the Turkish Department of Agriculture will be. It may sound
something like this:
“It is a tragedy that chickens have suffered during this time but we have to
remember that scientists and historians disagree on how the chickens died. In
fact, farmers in Turkey are lying about the figures of chickens which have
been
culled. Also, the chickens are not going to be destroyed but are being
relocated from their chicken coops for their own safety. And let’s not forget
that many sheep have died during this period as well and the chickens aren’t
the only ones who suffered. The bottom line is this~E those damn chickens were
siding with their Chinese chicken brothers across the border to overthrow the
status quo in Turkey and if the Turkish government did order their
extermination, then those stupid chickens deserved it! We are the Turkish
Government and we approve of this message.”
I’m imagining a Colonel Sanders type character wearing a red fez, reading
this
message on TV and then cutting to a commercial of Kazakhi Fried Chicken.
Well, all I can say is this: To all the people that were complaining that
Turkey was blockading Armenia for so long, look who’s smiling now! Was there
ever a time you were more happy to hear that Turkey has no trade with Armenia?
Blockade us all you want. What goes around, comes around. You can keep your
border closed and take your bird flu with you! Hayastan will do just fine with
what we have plenty of-pork, the other white meat. I always liked the McRib
better anyway.

Skeptik Sinikian is the current Southern California Zankou Chicken Eating
Champion. This competition is not an official event. It’s organized by Mr.
Sinikian and he is the only participant and three year defending champion. If
you would like to challenge him or suggest an answer to the question in the
title of this article, email him at SkeptikSinikian@aol.com or visit his
ridiculously outdated blog at
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