Thursday, January 12, 2006
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UNDERDOGS
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Has anyone ever seen an underdog rejecting on moral grounds the opportunity to become a top dog? If the secret ambition of an underdog is to become a top dog, in what way he may be said to be different or morally superior?
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SHITHOUSE READERS
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Once upon a time I had as many as fifty thousand readers: that’s when our partisan as well as non-partisan editors in Canada, United States and Middle East printed everything I wrote. So what if most of these readers were of the (what’s known in the business as) “shithouse” variant? – that is, they read me in the john. A reader is a reader even if he does his reading while engaged otherwise. And now that our editors have conferred upon me the status of non-person, how many readers do I have? Hard to say. A dozen? Two? It doesn’t really matter. I can always console myself by repeating the old Chinese proverb: “If you think the right thoughts, you will be heard thirty thousand miles away.”
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ON WRITING
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The most important thing to remember is the less art the better. Be brief. Write 100 pages, reduce them to one page, squeeze that page into a single paragraph, and discard it into the wastepaper basket.
Be honest. Forget all about the crap you have been exposed to by sermonizers and speechifiers. Speak from your own experience and testify on what you have observed with your own eyes. Do these things and you’ve got it made, which in our environment means making the maximum number of enemies.
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PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
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If I had a choice between dealing with a proud Armenian and a humble Turk, I would choose the Turk.
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MEMO
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I have said this before and it bears repeating: the problem with hating Turks is that inevitably and before the end of the story the hatred spills over on fellow Armenians.
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THE LAST CHAPTER
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In a biography I am less interested in the subject’s birthplace and schooling and more in the manner of his death. I may skip the first chapters but never the last.
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Friday, January 13, 2006
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Man’s infinite capacity for blunder (including my own) never ceases to amaze me. Which may explain why my favorite mantra is: “So what if in a less than perfect world I am myself less than perfect?”
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What do the Old Testament and MEIN KAMPF share in common? The absurd and ultimately self-defeating need to assert moral superiority.
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I write with some authority on absurd assertions because at one time or another I have myself subscribed to them.
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According to Heidegger, “When we are considering a man’s thoughts, the greater the work accomplished the richer the unthought-of element in that work.” In other words, the more you understand, the more aware you become of that which eludes your understanding. Or, in religious terms, the closer you get to god, the less you understand him.
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Sartre’s version of this phenomenon: “Man is not the sum of what he has, but the totality of what he does not yet have, of what he might have.”
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Awareness of ignorance is, therefore, also knowledge.
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Saturday, January 14, 2006
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THE POSITIVE AND THE NEGATIVE
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Baronian and Odian did not speak about Ottomanized Armenians in Istanbul at the turn of the last century, but about human nature. Honorable beggars and Panchoonies continue to be with us today. The reason some of us remain unaware of their existence is that those whose task it is to enhance our perception of reality believe in emphasizing the positive and covering up the negative.
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THE FRUITS OF SUPERSTITION
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In their efforts to kill the devil, 363 Muslims in Mecca kill one another. Like so much else in life designed to make us feel good, superstitions too come with a price.
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THE TROUBLE WITH HONEY
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Some of my readers accuse me of using too much vinegar and not enough honey. “Honey,” they like to remind me, “catches more flies.” To them and to everyone who believes in the wisdom of the ages, there is a Spanish proverb that says: “Haceos de miel, y os comeran las moscas” (Make yourself honey and the flies will eat you).
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CONTRADICTIONS
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I am read by readers who find me unreadable. I am hated by Armenians who tell me Armenians are loving people. I am called a jerk by individuals who consider themselves noble specimens of humanity. I am torn to shreds by chauvinists who tell me I should be more constructive. I am called son of a whore by individuals who have assessed themselves as paragons of virtue. I am told to go to hell by born-again Christians. If anyone were to ask me now: “What is the most terrible curse you can think of?” I would reply: “May your offspring choose Armenian literature as a career!”
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