Belfast Telegraph, United Kingdom
May 20 2006

Viewpoint: All kinds of puppets on a Euro string

20 May 2006
On one night of the year the European dream comes true, when all its
countries join in the fun of Eurovision – and tonight’s the night.
Will Armenia (surely in Asia?) break its duck or could Ireland recall
the glory days of Dana and Johnny Logan with an Athenian victory for
Falls Road man, Brian Kennedy?

In millions of homes across the continent and beyond, bottles will be
opened and score sheets prepared, as families gather to cheer, jeer
and cringe as the multi-national extravaganza unfolds. Ridiculous
costumes, silly dance routines and excruciating lyrics – they’re all
part of the crazy, kitschy world of the Eurovision song contest.

Just occasionally – about half a dozen times in 51 years – a song
breaks through the lycra curtain and registers with the public as
something more than Eurofodder. Sandy Shaw’s “Puppet on a String” in
1967, written by our own Phil Coulter, was one of those, closely
followed in 1970 by Dana’s “All Kinds of Everything”, such a contrast
with today’s frenetic offerings, and, everyone’s favourite,
“Waterloo”, the song that launched Abba 32 years ago.

All 24 finalists tonight are guaranteed their biggest-ever audience,
most of them then returning to the oblivion they so richly deserve,
but for the winner there is nothing short of Olympian glory. Their
career receives a massive boost, their place in national history is
assured and they can look forward to years of interviews beginning:
“Whatever happened to you after Eurovision?”

In the early years, the major nations and their musicians took it
deadly seriously, but a certain Irishman has helped to change all
that. For Terry Wogan, the perennial BBC commentator, it is an
opportunity to gently mock the antics of the more desperate
performers, and nowadays the British and Irish like to scorn as they
watch – perhaps because they seldom win.

After the songs and the tourism clips from the host country, comes
the lottery of the voting procedure, made even more unpredictable
this year by the inclusion of no less than 38 countries. The war in
Iraq has put paid to the UK’s popularity, in recent years, and
Ireland’s best hope may be that immigrants from eastern Europe, whose
countries traditionally vote for each other, will register their
thanks to the Celtic tiger.

Nostalgia lovers will regret that the days of “nul points” have been
consigned to the past, in the new voting method. Points from 1 to 7
will only be shown on the TV scoreboard and it will be left to the
national presenters to stumble over the awards of 8, 10 and 12 points
until, excitingly, the last three countries give their scores in
full. You couldn’t make it up.