Farewell to World cup
Journal of Turkish Weekly, Turkey
July 11 2006
On Sunday, the half expected final between France and Italy resulted
with Italy’s victory. The possible outcomes of this world cup is; 1)
the population in Italy will probably increase in 9 months time, 2)
if the babies are boys, most of their name will be Materazzi.
Every world cup is sui generis with its events, organizations and
scandals and this world cup was no different. After Maradona’s hand,
we now have Zidane’s head. (It sounds like pub name: Turk’s Head)
Even Turkish PM and main opposition leader is rumoured to talk about
it. But it was a good kick.
An Armenian reader, privileged me about his quest for the Turkish
origins of Zidane. The argument started in the stadium where he heard
from an Asian guy about Zidane’s Turkish roots. He investigated the
issue and unfortunately wasted his time, like you are doing now, by
reading my articles. Zidane is not Turkish. He also has a brilliant
point about my articles which I agree : "Your website[Turkish
Chilli] reminds me of some girl writing hate joutnals[journal] in
her diary.". Accurate observation!
First of all, to clear up something, I am not a girl. So do not
propose me. I am a man. The second thing is I will not satire my
reader, whether he is an Armenian or a Martian. I love the way
my readers complain about me, and they have the right to complain
about me because they are wasting their valuable minutes to read my
junkticle(=junk+article).
About Zidane being Turkish, I used to think about it, because of his
name sounds like Zeyneddin, which may be a half Turkish word. But
to relax my readers, I will confess that he can not be Turkish. At
least I used to think so, until I saw his head kick.
In Turkey, whether you like it or not, we have certain norms. Like,
we do not sun bath in our gardens, or open gardens. Also, when we use
blasphemy and if the other party is present, we do not let his belief,
ethnic origin, mum, sister or wife to be in the sentence. If you use
these words, probably not only the other party but his friends, too
will help you getting hospitalized. And a typical Turkish reaction
to such literature may well be like Zidane’s.
On the other hand, Turks have not colonized but rather themselves
integrated in to the regions they lived. In North Africa like Algeria,
there may be lots of people with Turkish descendents. Not only that,
I personally know that around Burdur/Turkey (a village on the north
of Antalya), there are cemeteries of Algerian Turks. Mixing with
Turks or mixing of Turks in other societies is not a big deal.
Turks are the invisible ethnic group, as one researcher from London
claims.
Back to subject, unfortunately like all good things, the world cup has
finished. It was the excuse for men around the world to dominate the
sitting room with their mates; the saving boat of Turkish men like
me to watch something more intellectual (I mean football) at night,
after 8 months of prime time soap opera torture. It was a call for
us to let our hormone levels back to normal manly levels and saying
stop to that female soft power forcing us to prepare salad.
This blessing, the world cup has ended on Sunday. But in this second
day after the final, I began to feel dull and lonely. It was like
being dumped by your girlfriend. It was as if I lost my ability to
irritate Armenians, satire Greek Cypriots and critize French. It was
the only thing to distract me from being a web-mare of all the enemies
of Turks around there. But I am back again! So until the next world
cup, I will do my best to deserve your curses!
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress