WAITING FOR ARMENIA’S ‘PORTERFIELD!’ MOMENT

The Times, UK
Nov 20 2006

YOU NEEDN’T WORRY yourselves why, but I was searching for information
about the Armenian Premier League the other day and was frustrated to
discover that the FFA (Football Federation of Armenia) still haven’t
got their website () uploaded, despite a little notice at
the domain insisting that it’s coming soon. Yes, so you keep saying,
Armenia! This low-tech irritation has been greeting me for at least
two months and I am getting close to going over the FFA’s heads and
writing directly to Ian Porterfield about it. Porterfield, as I’m
sure you’re aware, is in charge of the Armenia team. If you weren’t
aware of that, isn’t it a tremendous thing to have salted away now?

For those of you too young to remember, Ian’s surname, as barked
stoutly and irrevocably by David Coleman 30 minutes into the 1973 FA
Cup Final, is synonymous with upset, shock and sensation. He was the
"Porterfield!" whose unstoppable lash decided the game for Sunderland
over hot favourites Leeds United.

No footballer’s name has been broadcast with such boldness and
finality. However, a man can only coast so long on a 33-year-old
bombshell.

Why is he now dragging his feet over giving the world instant access
to breaking football news and events in his new workplace? A friend of
mine thinks it’s because men in Armenia, stylistically and tonsorially,
still look like the 1973 Sunderland squad and Porterfield wishes to
make sure that the nation isn’t playing a huge practical joke at his
expense before drawing back the curtain to the folks back home.

Maybe so. In this age of all things Borat, we must expect some kind
of tit-for-tat retaliation from our Eastern friends. Then again,
it is possible that Porterfield’s plans for this sleeping giant
of European soccer are so amazing that he doesn’t wish to give his
enemies a glimpse of the future.

Whatever it is, I do wish everyone over there would get a move on.

The last I heard, FC Pyunik were racing away with the Armenian league,
but that was ages ago. And as that cunning old fox now in charge knows
better than anyone, in football, everything can change in a heartbeat.