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"The Pigeon-like Unease of My Inner Spirit" by Hrant Dink AGOS

Nouvelles d’Arménie, France
Jan 20 2007

"The Pigeon-like Unease of My Inner Spirit" by Hrant Dink AGOS
Newspaper 10 January 2007 (translated by F.M. Gocek)

samedi 20 janvier 2007, Stéphane/armenews

I did not at first feel troubled about the investigation that was
filed against me by the Sisli public prosecutor’s office with the
accusation of `insulting Turkishness.’

This was not the first time. I had been familiar to the accusation
because of a similar lawsuit I had filed against me in Urfa . I was
being tried in Urfa with the accusation of `denigrating Turkishness’
over the past three years for having stated in a talk I gave at a
conference there in 2002 that `I was not a Turk…but from Turkey and
an Armenian.’

And I was even unaware about how the lawsuit was proceeding. I was
not at all interested. My lawyer friends in Urfa were attending the
hearings in my absence.

I was even quite nonchalant when I went and gave my deposition to the
ªiºli public prosecutor. I ultimately had complete trust in what my
intentions had been and what I had written. Once the prosecutor [had
the chance] to evaluated not that single sentence from my editorial
alone which made no sense by itself but the text as a whole, he would
understand with great ease that I had no intention to `denigrate
Turkishness’ and this comedy would come to an end.

I was certain that a lawsuit would not be filed at the end of the
investigation. I was sure of myself. But surprise ! A lawsuit was
filed.

But I still did not lose my optimism.

So much so that at a television show that I joined live, I even told
the lawyer [Kemal] Kerincsiz who was accusing me `that he should not
get his hopes too high, that I was not going to be smacked with any
sentence from this lawsuit, and that I would leave this country if I
received a sentence.’ I was sure of myself because I truly had not
had in my article any premeditation or intention – not even a single
iota – to denigrate Turkishness. Those who read the entirety of my
collection of articles would understand this very clearly.

As a matter of fact, the report prepared by the three faculty members
from Istanbul University who had been appointed by the court as
experts stated exactly that. There was no reason for me to get
troubled, there would certainly be a return from the wrongful path
[of the lawsuit] at one stage of the proceedings or the other.

So I kept asking for patience…

But there was no such return.

The prosecutor asked for a sentence in spite of the expert report.
The judge then sentenced me to six months in prison.

When I first heard about my sentence, I found myself under the bitter
pressure of the hopes I had nurtured all along the process of the
lawsuit. I was bewildered… My disappointment and rebellion were at
their pinnacle.

I had resisted for days and months saying `just you wait for this
decision to come out and once I am acquitted, then you will all be so
repentant about all that you have said and written.’

In covering every hearing of the lawsuit, the newspapers items,
editorials and television programs all referred to how I had said
that `the blood of the Turk is poisonous.’ Each and every time, they
were adding to my fame as `the enemy of the Turk.’ At the halls of
the court, the fascists physically attacked me with racist curses.

They bombarded me with insults on their placards. The threats
reaching hundreds that kept hailing for months through phones, e-mail
and letters kept increasing each time.

And I persevered through all this with patience awaiting the decision
for acquittal. Once the legal decision was announced, the truth was
going to prevail and all these people would be ashamed of what they
had done.

My only weapon was my sincerity. But here the decision was out and
all my hopes were crushed. From then on, I was in the most distressed
situation that a person could possibly be in.

The judge had made a decision in the name of the `Turkish nation’ and
had it legally registered that I had `denigrated Turkishness.’ I
could have persevered through anything except this.

According to my understanding, racism was the denigration by anyone
of a person they lived alongside with on the basis of any difference,
ethnic or religious and there was not any way in which this could
ever be forgiven.

Well it was in this psychological state that I made the following
declaration to the members of the media and friends who were at my
doorstep trying to confirm `as to whether I would leave this country
as I had indicated earlier :’

`I shall consult with my lawyers. I will appeal at the supreme court
of appeal and will even go to the European Court of Human Rights if
necessary. If I am not cleared through any one of these processes,
then I shall leave my country. Because according to my opinion,
someone who has been sentenced with such a crime does not have the
right to live alongside the citizens whom he has denigrated.’

As I voiced this opinion, I was emotional as always. My only weapon
was my sincerity.

Dark Humor

But it so happens that the deep force that was trying to single me
out and make me an open target in the eyes of the people of Turkey
found something wrong with this press release of mine as well and
this time filed a lawsuit against me for attempting to influence the
court. The entire Turkish media had given my declaration but what got
their attention was what was writ in AGOS alone. And it so transpired
that the legally responsible parties in the AGOS newspaper and I
started to be tried this time around for attempting to influence the
court. This must be what people call `dark humor.’

As I am the accused, who has the right more than the accused to try
to influence the judiciary ? But look at this humorous situation that
the accused is this time tried for trying to influence the judiciary.

`In the Name of the Turkish State ‘

I have to confess that I had more than lost my trust in the concept
of `Law’ and the `System of Justice’ in Turkey .

How could I have not ? Had these prosecutors, these judges not been
educated in the university, graduated from faculties of law ? Weren’t
they supposed to have the capacity to comprehend [and interpret] what
they read ?

But it so transpires that the judiciary in this country, as also
expressed without compunction by many a statesman and politician, is
not independent.

The judiciary does not protect the rights of the citizen, but instead
the State.

The judiciary is not there for the citizen, but under the control of
the State.

As a matter of fact I was absolutely sure that even though it was
stated that the decision in my case was reached `in the name of the
Turkish nation,’ it was a decision clearly not made `on behalf of the
Turkish nation’ but rather `on behalf of the Turkish state.’ As a
consequence, my lawyers were going to appeal the Supreme Court of
Appeals, but what could guarantee that the deep forces that had
decided to put me in my place would not be influential there either ?

And was it the case that the Supreme Court of Appeals always reached
right decisions ? Wasn’t it the same Supreme Court of Appeal that had
signed onto the unjust decision that stripped minority foundations of
their properties ? [And had done so] in spite of the attempts of the
Chief Public Prosecutor. And we did appeal and what did it get us ?
Just like the report of the experts, the Chief Public Prosecutor of
the Supreme Court of Appeals stated that there was no evidence of
crime and asked for my acquittal but the Supreme Court of Appeals
still found me guilty. The Chief Public Prosecutor of the Supreme
Court of Appeals was just as certain about what he had read and
understood as I had been about what I had written, so he objected to
the decision and took the lawsuit to the General Council.

But what can I say, that great force which had decided once and for
all to put me in my place and had made itself felt at every stage of
my lawsuit through processes I would not even know about was there
present once again behind the scenes. And as a consequence, it was
declared by majority vote at General Council as well that I had
denigrated Turkishness.

Like a Pigeon

This much is crystal clear that those who tried to single me out,
render me weak and defenseless succeeded by their own measures. With
the wrongful and polluted knowledge they oozed into society, they
managed to form a significant segment of the population whose numbers
cannot be easily dismissed who view Hrant Dink as someone
`denigrating Turkishness.’

The diary and memory of my computer are filled with angry,
threatening lines sent by citizens from this particular sector. (Let
me note here at this juncture that even though one of these letters
was sent from [the neighboring city of] Bursa and that I had found it
rather disturbing because of the proximity of the danger it
represented and [therefore] turned the threatening letter over to the
ªiºli prosecutor’s office, I have not been able to get a result until
this day.)

How real or unreal are these threats ? To be honest, it is of course
impossible for me to know for sure. What it truly threatening and
unbearable for me is the psychological torture I personally place
myself in. `Now what are these people thinking about me ?’ is the
question that really bugs me. It is unfortunate that I am now better
known than I once was and I feel much more the people throwing me
that glance of `Oh, look, isn’t he that Armenian guy ?’

And I reflexively start torturing myself. One aspect of this torture
is curiosity, the other unease. One aspect is attention, the other
apprehension.

I am just like a pigeon…..

Obsessed just as much what goes on my left, right, front, back.

My head is just as mobile… and just as fast enough to turn right
away.

And Here is the Cost for You

What did the Foreign Minister Abdullah Gül state ? The Justice
Minister Cemil Çiçek ? `Come on, there is nothing to exaggerate about
[legal code 301]. Is there anyone who has actually been tried and
imprisoned from it ?’ As if the only cost one paid was
imprisonment… Here is a cost for you… Here is a cost… Do you
know, oh ministers, what kind of a cost it is to imprison a human
being into the apprehensiveness of a pigeon ?… Do you know ?….
You, don’t you ever watch a pigeon ?

What They Call `Life-or-Death’ What I have lived through has not been
an easy process… And what we have lived through as a family…
There were moments when I seriously thought about leaving the country
and moving far away. And especially when the threats started to
involve those close to me… At that point I always remained
helpless. That must be what they call `Life-or-Death.’ I could have
resisted out of my own will, but I did not have the right to put into
danger the life of anyone who was close to me. I could have been my
own hero, but I did not have the right to be brave by placing, let
along someone close to me, any other person in danger. During such
helpless times, I gathered my family, my children together and sought
refuge in them and received the greatest support from them. They
trusted in me.

Wherever I would be, they would be there as well. If I said `let’s
go’ they would go, if I said `let’s stay’ they would come.

To Stay and Resist Okay, but if we went, where would we go ? To the
Armenian Republic ? How long someone like me who could not stand
injustices put up with the injustices there ? Would not I get into
even deeper trouble there ?

To go and live in the European countries was not at all the thing for
me. After all, I am such a person that if I travel to the West for
three days, I miss my country on the fourth and start writhing in
boredom saying `let this be over so I can go back,’ so what would I
end up doing there ? The comfort there would have gotten to me !
Leaving `boiling hells’ for `ready-made heavens’ was not at all right
for my personality make up. We were people who volunteered to
transform the hells they lived into heavens. To stay and live in
Turkey was necessary because we truly desired it and [had to do so]
out of respect to the thousands of friends in Turkey who gave a
struggle for democracy and who supported us. We were going to stay
and we were going to resist. If we were forced to leave one day
however… We were going to set out just as in 1915…Like our
ancestors… Without knowing where we were going… Walking the roads
they walked through… Feeling the ordeal, experiencing the pain….
With such a reproach we were going to leave our homeland. And we
would go where our feet took us, but not our hearts.

Apprehensive and Free

I wish that we would never ever have to experience such a departure.
We have way too many reasons and hope not to experience it anyhow.

Now I am applying to the European Court of Human Rights. How long
this lawsuit will last, I do not know. The fact that I do know and
that somewhat puts me at ease is that I will be living in Turkey at
least until the lawsuit is finalized. If the court decides in my
favor, I will undoubtedly become very happy and it would mean that I
would never have to leave my country. From my own vantage point, 2007
will probably be even a more difficult year. The trials will
continue, new ones will commence. Who knows what kinds of additional
injustices I would have to confront ? While all these occur, I will
consider this one truth my only security. Yes, I may perceive myself
in the spiritual unease of a pigeon, but I do know that in this
country people do not touch pigeons. Pigeons live their lives all the
way deep into the city, even amidst the human throngs. Yes, somewhat
apprehensive but just as much free.

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