Eurovision song contest

Scotsman, UK
May 11 2007

Eurovision song contest
DAVID ELDER

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST
HARTWALL AREENA, HELSINKI

THE vast, cavernous hall is packed with fervent followers, eager to
hear what their newly discovered guru has to tell them. A hush falls
over the audience as she appears amid an imposing entourage, which
includes her mother in a head scarf. "Hello everybody, my name is
Verka Serduchka, me English nicht verstehen." The crowd goes wild.
Screams of laughter echo around the Helsinki press centre. The
Ukrainian representative in this year’s Eurovision has arrived, and
the assembled press from more than 50 countries love her to bits.

Verka is one of the biggest stars in the former Soviet nations. No
mean feat for a drag queen. Her unconventional look (Su Pollard meets
Dame Edna) features a mirror-encrusted headdress topped by a huge
silver star, as big as the outrageous persona she adopts in her stage
show.

Preparations for the 52nd Eurovision Song Contest, being held this
weekend in Helsinki, started almost as soon as the closing bars of
last year’s winning entry by hard rock monsters Lordi were being
played.

We’re in the Hartwall Areena, normally the home to Finland’s big ice
hockey matches, but its capacity to hold an audience of around
12,000, coupled with its proximity to the nearby Fair Centre, which
houses the extensive press facilities, made it the obvious choice for
the organisers. The infrastructure of the city also means that the
5,000 or so delegates can be assured of first-rate travel,
accommodation and entertainment facilities.

The city has embraced its strange and colourful new visitors with
unyielding passion. Hardly surprising for a nation that previously
had the worst record in the contest, having competed for 45 years
without so much as a sniff at a top-five placing.

Wherever you go in the city you can’t fail to notice flags, posters
and billboards proclaiming that Europe’s greatest kitsch-fest is in
town. Shop windows are festooned with flags and merchandise. Oh yes,
only the coolest people will be wearing a hoodie featuring the
contest’s "heart" logo this summer! There is a large international
market, with stalls from every competing nation set out in the
picturesque and upmarket Eteläesplanadi shopping street. Huge video
screens around the city centre show the preview videos of the 42
competing songs 24 hours a day. I had previously though it was only
during Edinburgh’s festivals that you could experience the dubious
pleasure of staggering through the streets in the early hours with a
bag of cheese and chips only to be confronted by a group of vampires
decked out in full Bela Lugosi garb. But no, Helsinki can now offer
that, thanks to the Swiss entry.

Rehearsals began last Thursday, with each country having two slots on
the impressive stage (which this year boasts the largest video
wrap-around screen in the world). As well as singing through their
songs, and practising their routines, they have the opportunity to
change the lighting, sound and staging.

Don’t forget the props. Gone are the days of standing in front of an
orchestra and belting out your chanson in the vague hope that the
citizens of Europe will take you to their hearts. Eurovision today is
far more about the performance, and the rule of thumb is that more is
definitely more. The greater the visual impact of the song, the
higher your points are going to be. Take last year’s winners, Lordi,
for example. Can you remember anything about their song? No. Everyone
will immediately remember, though, that they were horror film
monsters with fireworks coming out of their guitars. This year you
can look forward to a full in-flight trolley service courtesy of our
own Scooch, an Armenian oak tree complete with yellow ribbons (hasn’t
that one been done before?) and some magic mirrors from the Ken doll
look-alike from Belarus.

Costumes play a large part in the look of a song, so it seems only
fitting that the French entrants asked Jean-Paul Gaultier to design
them something fantastique to wear. He went for pink – shocking pink
– and even designed a cat for one of the band to wear around his
neck. "This is my little Fou Fou," enthused the beaming singer. Nice.

For many of the 2,500 journalists who report back on the festivities,
their trip to the contest is anticipated even more than Christmas.
Fans of the show make up the majority of those reporting. They know
the facts, they’ve heard each song hundreds of times, and they can
tell you with authority where the all-important douze points are
headed way before the voting begins.

As Verka continues her one-woman mission to take the contest back to
the Ukraine for the second time in four years, her disciples hang on
her every word. "You are very big boy. You Dutch?"

"No, I’m from Switzerland."

"Pah, no use. Goodbye!"

– The Eurovision Song Contest is on BBC1 from 8pm tomorrow.