Tax Allowances For Cabbages And Storks

TAX ALLOWANCES FOR CABBAGES AND STORKS
James Hakobyan

Lragir.am
22-08-2007 13:17:11

A few months ago the Armenian government approved the national policy
on cattle breeding. Consequently, Armenia lacks cattle or will be
facing a lack soon, therefore a national policy was necessary to
provide Armenia with cattle in the nearest future. Cattle is good,
and most importantly, it is tasty. But there is a subtlety. People
in Armenia become fewer, and according to a World Bank forecast,
in the upcoming 15 years the population of our country will decline
by about 200 thousand. It is a major figure, of course, and is
close to about 5 to 6 percent of the official number and about 10
percent of the unofficial number on the population of Armenia. In
other words, as cattle become more in number, people become fewer
in Armenia. Consequently, the question occurs who will need so much
beef. Is it possible that our government attends to cattle breeding out
of a humanitarian approach in the sense that a cow also has the right
to live? It might be possible but it would be an unserious treatment
for the government of Armenia. After all, we do not have enough
territory to keep a cemetery of cows. Our graves are hardly enough
for people, let alone cows. In other words, cattle will be bred to be
eaten, consequently the growth of the number of people along with that
of cattle, at least a commensurate growth, becomes a vital necessity.

Therefore, the government needs to make pro-active efforts to improve
the demography of Armenia, which is an urgent national security
issue, and will also help protect the country from the expansion
of cattle. However, the demographic state would not improve on its
own. It takes a lot of money. The point is that nobody gives birth
to children out of having nothing else to do. The two-digit economic
growth distracts the Armenians, and now they would not agree to leave
their work and have children. Time is money, and money is everything,
the Americans say. Consequently, in order to have citizens waste their
precious time on improving the demographic state, it is necessary to
place this process on a commercial basis. There are two options. First,
the government encourages young people through allowances to have them
work at night as well. Young people may consider it if the government
pays well. However, the government has no money, all the money is
with the oligarchs who hardly afford to support their children,
let alone give money to the nation to have children.

Therefore, the second option should be taken up, which is much
cheaper and solves several problems at once. It is necessary to
launch a project of breeding storks and cabbages, in other words,
to create soft conditions for stork breeding, exempt storks from the
value added tax, and the storks which bring children from the other
possible taxes. Besides, it is necessary to raise the fee for visa
for storks on the border. More exactly, the entry of the storks which
fly to Armenia with a baby on the beak is free of charge.

The ones which fly to Armenia empty-beaked pay for both themselves and
the baby they failed to bring. The same flexible tax policy should be
applied to cabbages. The cabbage in which a baby is found is exempt
from taxes and protected by the government, meanwhile, a "barren"
cabbage should be confiscated and fed to the cattle.