NOAH’S PARK
JAMES HAKOBYAN
Lragir, Armenia
10-09-2007 16:43:04
When Noah built the arc and placed his family and the animals in it,
he perhaps hoped that the arc would finally land on the Himalayas
rather than Ararat. Perhaps because if he landed on Ararat, an Armenian
with a red band on his arm would come up to Noah and ask to pay 200
drams for parking in accordance with the recent regulations of the
City Hall. Where would Noah get so much money? He had animals but no
money. Would the Armenian accept an animal instead of money?
Perhaps not because the animal would not live until people other than
the Armenian and Noah’s family originated to whom he could sell the
animal. Meanwhile, the Himalayas could offer free parking to Noah.
Besides, the people who live there have a more philosophical attitude
toward life, and they would take the honor of offering parking to
Noah for granted and would not fight millennia later for building the
copy of Noah’s arc. But in that case oblivion would threaten Noah. And
perhaps that was the reason why God chose Ararat for Noah to park the
arc because God knew the Armenians would never forget Noah, and it
was even worthwhile that Noah paid 500 drams to Armenians for parking.
Although the patriarch could not do it when he was alive, he pays
to the Armenians for landing on Ararat posthumously, becoming an
exclusive brand for them.
If in the beginning this brand was used in food production, now there
is a tendency to shift Noah into the travel business. Recently two
persons at once bid for building Noah’s arc in the Ararat Valley in
Armenia. One offered a public initiative and a program of fundraising,
which involved building the arch across Ararat and turning it into a
large entertainment and museum center. One of the Armenian businessman
disliked this idea because it turned out that he also intends to
build an arc, and almost in the same place and of almost the same
entertainment and museum type. For the time being, we will not mention
the names of people who wish to build an arc because their number may
grow in Armenia, and in the end we will enumerate everyone one by one.
It is evident, however, that we already need to start thinking who
will in the end build the arc. We need to seek for the mechanism of
solving this problem. The problem is not complicated. For instance,
we may entitle the person to building the arch whose name contains
more letters of Noah’s name. Let us imagine the name of one is Minas,
the name of the other is Gideon. Obviously, Gideon will win because
Minas contains only N, whereas Gideon contains N and O. Or the one wins
who offers a more luxurious program. For instance, separate rooms,
satellite TV, three meals a day on Noah’s expense. It is possible to
work out different principles and benchmarks but it is obvious that
the arc should be put out to tender because 29 thousand sq km cannot
be turned into an arc park. On the other hand, we must have at least
one arc to make at least some use of Noah. After all, we are already
late for several thousands of years, and now that we have just gained
statehood, we cannot miss this opportunity.
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress
