American Chronicle, CA
Oct 12 2007

House Committee Adds God to Genocide List!

Philip F. Harris
October 12, 2007

The U.S. House of Representatives Foreign Affairs Committee decided
to broaden its resolution condemning the Ottoman Empires genocide of
Armenians to include a few more historical events. Not wanting to
offend just the Turks, the Committee thought they should spread the
condemnations. Citing the contagious new disease, Bush-itis, which
makes you want to offend everyone, allies in particular, The
Committee felt they should set the historical records straight.

The new resolution has labeled as genocide the following events or
actions: the Assyrian Empire, the Peloponnesian War, the Amalekites
and the Midianites, the Third Punic War, the Mongols, Christopher
Columbus, Spain in general and the Inquisition, the U.S. slaughter of
native Americans, the Slave trade, Argentina, the British for their
actions in Australia, the French Revolution, the Germans for their
actions in South-West Africa, the UK for the Irish famine, the
Russians, the Nazis, Croatia, Guatemala, Bangladesh, the Tutsi, the
Khmer Rouge, Indonesia, Lebanon, Iraq, the former Soviet Union, China
for their actions in Tibet, Brazil, Bosnia, Rwanda, Sudan, and the
Pope for the slaughter of the Cathars and Pagans in general, and God
and his angels for their action in Egypt and the general smiting of
those opposed to Him.

The White said that they were pleased that the Committee did not just
single out Turkey since we still need our bases in their Country.
Deputy Press Secretary Scott Stanzel said that while more historical
could have been a part of the resolution, it will do for now. He
added that he hopes the committee will tackle this touchy subject
again next year in the hopes of telling historians what should be in
the history books rather than relying upon common sense and
historical conjecture.

In response to the Committee’s resolution, not only has Turkey
recalled its ambassador but the Vatican, England, Spain, Russia,
China, most Latin American countries, Indonesia and every country
mentioned or implied in the resolution has followed Turkey’s lead. It
has been noted that angels have been seen at the U.S. Treasury
erasing the words, In God We Trust from U.S. currency in retaliation
for the Biblical implications of genocide.

Committee members were not concerned over the recent diplomatic
events as they assured each other that their actions would get them
some votes at re-election time from the groups that have been targets
of the genocides cited in the resolution. Their only real concern was
the angelic activity but, they placated themselves by admitting that
the removal of the phrase on the currency would gain the votes of the
atheists. They were further heartened by the fact that the President
had not as yet alienated all of these groups and they were pleased to
beat the White house to the punch.

/viewArticle.asp?articleID=40070