Anorak.co.uk (satire), UK
Dec 27 2007

Priests Fight The Good Fight In Bethlehem

AT this time it is good to realise what Christmas is all about.

Arguing about whether the real Jesus looked more like David Bellamy,
ZZTop (not the drummer) or David Icke.

Debating if Armani’s role of Archangel Gabriel in the school nativity
play gives parental bragging rights over the role of Mary, and if any
child made a townsperson is doomed to a life of mediocrity and
aspirations limited to a starter home on the outskirts of Salisbury.

And fighting.

To Bethlehem we go. Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests are in the
Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

The Greek Orthodox priests have set up ladders to clean the walls and
ceilings of their part of the church, which is said to be built over
the site where Jesus Christ is believed to have been born.

But the ladders are in space governed by the Armenian priests. With
no roadmap for peace there is but one recourse: fight!

As reported over the newswires: `For a quarter of an hour bearded and
robed priests laid into each other with fists, brooms and iron rods
while the photographers who had come to take pictures of the annual
cleaning ceremony recorded the whole event.’

`As usual the cleaning of the church after Christmas is a cause of
problems,’ Bethlehem Mayor Victor Batarseh told AFP, adding that he
has offered to help ease tensions.

`For the two years that I have been here everything went more or less
calmly,’ he said. `It’s all finished now.’

Jesus was, of course, born in a stable. Or a converted barn, as
modern tellers have it. And anyone who say otherwise will feel thy
wrath…

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