SCREAM QUEEN PENS SEXY VAMPIRE NOVEL
Cindy Adams
The New York Post
June 24, 2008
ADRIENNE Barbeau. You know her. Hollywood’s scream queen. From those
horror flicks "The Fog," "Swamp Thing," "Creepshow." Also Bea Arthur’s
daughter on TV’s "Maude." Also originated the Rizzo role in B’way’s
"Grease." You know her.
What you don’t know is she’s now written her first novel. A sexy
vampire mystery. And what that means, I haven’t the foggiest. I,
myself, have personally never seen vampires Doing It. Anyway, the
thing is set in the movie colony. Naturally. Like, where else for
bloodsuckers, right? ‘Tis the saga of siren Ovsanna Moore, horror film
legend, cutthroat producer . . . and vampire. When everyone around
starts dropping dead, Ovsanna teams with hunky cynical cop Peter King,
who thinks he’s seen it all. They form an unholy alliance to fight the
undead. The lead vampire is Armenian. Sparks fly. And so do creatures
of the night. And, she hopes, so will book buyers.
Out July 8, published by St. Martin’s, it’s titled "Vampyres of
Hollywood." The "Y" is collaborator Michael Scott suggesting the
European spelling might set the title apart a bit. OK, fine, but
why’s she writing this? Says Adrienne:
"The first time I met Michael he suggested a novel for my horror
genre fan base."
Adrienne lives in LA, has a farmhouse in Jersey, husband
writer-producer Billy Van Zandt, who’s Steven Van Zandt’s brother,
three sons – and she just finished an Alfre Woodard film, a 3-D
animation opening in August and a TV feature premiering in September.
Great Balls of Fyre.
LIKE record producer Phil Spector, who gets retried in September in
California for allegedly murdering actress Lana Clarkson in 2003, needs
more problems. LA’s Westin Bonaventure Hotel filed a $100,000 suit
against him. Failure, they say, to pay accommodations for his lawyers
and witnesses during his mistrial. The lawsuit alleges all kinds of
things – fraud, breach of contract, maybe somebody heisting an ashtray.
LANCE Armstrong at La Palestra Fitness Center, 99th and B’way. From
the p.r. emanating from his love life, no wonder he needs more
fitness . . . Barbara Corcoran: "I first learned real estate as
one of 10 children whose parents always looked to upgrade where
we lived." . . . Photographer Bettina Cirone reports Mark Shriver
got a Father of the Year Award, and mom Eunice Kennedy said: "Your
father, Uncle John and your Uncle Ted all got that same one – and
they were younger than you." . . . The Spitzers, the whole family,
vacationing in Vietnam . . . CBS boss Les Moonves on the big ratings
for "Password": "It’s Regis. Everybody wants to have dinner with
Mr. Everyman Regis." . . . Enough already with this rain. Where was
I when the Groundhog crept out and said: "To hell with my shadow,
I’m going to Hawaii!"
IN that "Kit Kittredge" movie, those little girls are all named
Abigail, Madison, Willow. And with last names like Smith. Along comes
big girl co-star Jane Krakowski. A really grown-up girl teetering on
6-inch platforms. I asked how she walks in them. Said Jane: "Please,
I own lots of them. I discovered men love them. They seem never to
comment on any shoes I’ve ever worn, ever – except when I wear these
Christian Louboutins." OK by me, kid, but besides ending up in a
splint there must be an easier way to nail a guy.
BASEBALL stuff. Anyone know Maury Povich was once a batboy for the
Washington Senators? . . . Or that in ’82, shoe salesman Omar Minaya
and Yankee Willie Randolph – whom he hired and fired subsequently as
Mets manager – did a TV commercial for Canon Cameras? Omar got $200;
Willie, $5,000, and Canon still has a big billboard at Yankee Stadium.
I’M remembering my conversation a few years ago with George Carlin, who
just left us. He’d just completed a literary output. Or outburst. The
title was "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" His take on the
media: "Equal parts business, politics, advertising, p.r. and show
business. Enough bull – – – – for Texas to open a chain of branch
offices." (What that meant I didn’t know, but he talked so fast
there was no time to ask.) On the sexes: "Women are crazy, men are
stupid. Main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
Hygiene: "Who says people making my sandwich should wear gloves? I
don’t want glove residue all over my food. Who knows where those
gloves have been?" Language: "The way we’re going, soon we’ll be
calling ugly people ‘those with severe appearance deficits.’ "
And only two weeks ago: "Our species could have been so great, but
now all anybody wants is something new, like maybe sneakers with
lights in them. That’s what we’ve settled for."
EILEEN Fulton, after nearly 50 years on "As the World Turns," got a
new apartment and called Verizon to install the DSL devices. Three
times they made an appointment. Three times she waited. Three times
nobody showed. Three times they insist they were there and nobody
was home. Friday, June 13, came their e-mail that states – and I
have this e-mail in my hands – that they came June 16 (three days
into the future) and "nobody home."