TINKER TIME OUT
By Chris Davis

Memphis Flyer
oid=oid%3A47041
Aug 8 2008
TN

What’s failed Congressional candidate Nikki Tinker going to do now that
she’s a two-time congressional-race loser with a national reputation
for low-road politics?

"I’ve just got to put my faith in God," Tinker told the restless
gaggle of reporters that crowded around her when she finally arrived
late to her own unhappy "victory" party at Ground Zero. She reminded
the media that she was only 37 and that, if the Lord saw fit, Tinker
time could come again.

"I’m just a child of God," she said, echoing verbatim sentiments from
her last, less devastating defeat at the hands of Congressman Steve
Cohen in 2006. "You all know how strong my faith is."

But God was nowhere to be found at this party. Even Morgan Freeman,
the club’s Tinker-supporting superstar owner, who played God in the
film Bruce Almighty, was absent, having sustained serious injuries
in a recent automobile accident near his home in Clarksdale, MS.

It’s tempting do describe the mood at Ground Zero as grim from the
git-go. But it wasn’t grim. It was much worse than that. The mood
was nonexistent. For most of the evening there was no candidate in
the house and not very many supporters waiting on her arrival. The
blues band on stage played to a largely indifferent mix of confused
tourists who’d stopped in for ribs and to sign Freeman’s get-well
banners and bored reporters with nothing to report.

The club was minimally decorated with a few banks of balloons. A
sparsely laid snack table went untouched until 9:40 p.m.,
when speculators began to wonder if Tinker was going to be a
no-show. Because she hadn’t merely lost an election, she’d run a
campaign based almost solely on race and religion (with surrogates
adding homophobia to the list), and she had been definitively crushed
by an opponent she’d attempted to bizarrely tar as both a Jewish
anti-Christian and KKK-friendly.

Throughout the evening, a small cluster of well-wishers like Judge
D’Army Bailey (sipping chocolate martinis and talking about his book
deal) and Pinnacle Airlines CEO Phil Trenary (describing himself as
a "big Democrat") would cluster around a television on the Club’s
northeast wall to tut-tut over the returns.

"It’s a rout," one man of Armenian descent grumbled into his cell
phone. "The race isn’t even competitive." He was flanked by two
other men of Armenian heritage who had thrown their support behind
Tinker because Cohen, who has long criticized America’s invasion of
Iraq, refused to support a measure asking Turkey to acknowledge the
Armenian genocide, as long as American troops depend on Turkish supply
lines. Peter Musurlian, the West Coast filmmaker Cohen physically
removed from his home during a Wednesday press conference was among
them.

"I filed charges against Cohen today," said Musurlian, who has also
been identified as a "Republican operative" by the website MyDD.

"He’s not going to like my documentary very much," the filmmaker
concluded, scratching his bald head and voicing his astonishment that
Tinker could have been beaten so badly.

In 48 hours, Tinker had gone from possible contender to national
pariah. She was rebuked by Emily’s List, the pro-female PAC that has
supported her in both of her primary races, after a pair of race-
and religion-baiting TV commercials attracted negative international
attention and prompted MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann to name Tinker
"The Worst Person in the World." Democratic presidential candidate
Barack Obama expressed his displeasure Thursday morning and Tinker’s
friend and one-time employer, former Congressman Harold Ford Jr.,
followed suit.

It was nearly 10 p.m. when Tinker finally arrived. She made her
way around the club, hugging the few necks that made themselves
available. She supplied the media with a variety of faith-centric
non-answers to questions and claimed no knowledge of Obama’s comments
on the race.

Tinker’s visit to her unhappy victory party was brief and
uneventful. She didn’t address the crowd and as soon as she walked
out the door, an event that had never begun was definitively over.