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UFC 87: Looking to ‘seek and destroy’ the books

SBR Forum, Costa Rica
Aug 10 2008

UFC 87: Looking to ‘seek and destroy’ the books

08/09/2008 11:07 AM
By: Bread | sbrforum.com

The Welterweight Championship is on the line tonight at UFC 87,
slated for a 10:00 p.m. (Eastern) start time from the Target Center in
Minneapolis. Montreal native Georges St. Pierre is the heavy favorite
to take the belt against Indiana flatlander Jon Fitch in the main
event. On the undercard, Brock Lesnar meets Heath Herring while Kenny
Florian takes on Roger Huerta in what might be the closest bout of the
evening.
The only things more amusing than some of the outrageously silly UFC
fighters’ names are the slogans associated with many of their pay per
views. UFC 87: Seek and Destroy, carries on the torch of dopey
nicknames.

What is not dopey, however, is the stacked fight card. Saturday night UFC fights¦Let’s get it on!

Georges St. Pierre (-360) vs. Jon Fitch (+300)
Our main event just happens to be for the Welterweight Championship.
It also just happens to feature one of MMA’s most enthralling
fighters, Georges St. Pierre (16-2-0). He even has fitting nickname,
`Rush.’ Watching this talented Canadian in the octagon can certainly
be rush inducing.

After a shocking loss to reality show meathead Matt Serra, who was an
11-1 underdog, St. Pierre has been untouchable. He laid the beatdown
on Jeff Koscheck and Matt Hughes. Then four months ago he exacted
some revenge on Serra in impressive fashion, en route to regaining his
belt.

Because of guys like St. Pierre, Anderson Silva and Mike Tyson, I will
never again take anyone with a little girl’s voice lightly. It
wouldn’t end well for Bread.

Opponent Jon Fitch (21-2-0) is certainly no slouch. Riding a 15-fight
winning streak, Fitch’s last loss came in Dec. 2002. To put that in
perspective, Pat Venditto wasn’t even in high school yet. He has
victories over some impressive names: Josh Burkman, Thiago Alves,
Diego Sanchez. Most of those victories are followed with one of the
sport’s best celebrations ` Fitch running around the mat like a
lunatic with a freakish crazy eye. I look forward to it.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be seeing that celebration tonight.
Look for St. Pierre to continue his dominance. Georges St. Pierre
-360.

Brock Lesnar (-240) vs. Heath Herring (+180) Big Brock Lesnar (1-1-0)
is back. Listed at 6-3, 265 lbs, the man is just a monster. The UFC
wants this guy to do well. He brings with him a huge fanbase from his
WWE days. Heck, he even lists that as a personal accomplishment on
the UFC website: "WWE Champion." Um, should someone tell him that pro
wrestling is all fake? I’m not going to be the one, but someone
should.

Lesnar’s first pro MMA bout was against someone named Min Soo Kim.
Don’t worry, I had no idea who he was either. Brock pummeled him into
submission by strikes in less than two minutes. Enter the UFC, where
Frank Mir exposed the big guy’s weaknesses. Mir took a pounding for
most of the first round, until landing a leg lock on Lesnar for the
victory.

No problem. Lesnar was then setup for a patsy match against a
43-year-old UFC Hall of Fame inductee, Mark Coleman who saved himself
the embarrassment of enduring senior citizen abuse and injured
himself. Enter Heath Herring.

Herring (29-13-1) is not the patsy that I think the UFC wanted to help
propel their newest big name. He is an inch taller than Lesnar, and
about 15 pounds lighter. He was born in Waco, TX, so you know he’s
crazy. Herring sports a variety of crazy hair colors and styles. He
looks like a space cowboy bar brawler. He carries his own personal
silly nickname, `The Texas Crazy Horse,’ very well.

Nowhere was Herring’s insanity levels on more display than New Year’s
Eve 2005. During his K-1 pre-fight staredown with opponent Yoshihiro
Nakao, Nakao made the bird-brained decision to lean in and give Heath
a kiss on the lips. Herring promptly knocked his suitor out with a
blow to the jaw. The fight was declared a no contest.

In his last fight, he took a split decision from the physical specimen
that is Cheick Kongo. Lesnar seems to have no respect for his latest
hobby. Unlike most fighters who praise their opponents leading up to
a match, Lesnar has the `I’ll beat everyone I have to, to make it to
the top, I don’t care who it is’ attitude. Sadly for Brock, unlike in
the WWE, you cannot be declared a champion in the UFC by the writing
team.

The UFC has even put this card in Lesnar’s hometown of Minneapolis,
where he wrestled collegiately and even had a brief stint with the
Vikings. The crowd will be pulling for him hard. I don’t think they
will be going home happy. Heath Herring +180.

Kenny Florian (-160) vs. Roger Huerta (+130)
UFC President Dana White has already said that this is his personal
pick for fight of the year. I would tend to agree with him. Kenny
`Kenflo’ Florian (9-3-0) will be bringing his elbows of death with
him. He has lost only to Sean Sherk and Diego Sanchez in `The
Ultimate Fighter 1′ finale. All others are usually defeated in bloody
fashion. With a background in Muay Thai and Jiu-Jitsu, Florian is no
joke.

Roger Huerta (22-1-1) is known as `El Matador.’ I believe that is
French for `doormat.’ I could be wrong. Either way, the Sports
Illustrated cover boy is 6-0 in the UFC. His last victory against
Clay Guida was an exciting bout from beginning to end. Huerta was
getting smacked around for much of the fight, before catching Guida in
a nasty third round choke hold.

***

Florian seems like a nice enough kid from Boston. He even stepped in
and did color commentary in Joe Rogan’s absence for UFC 83. It would
be great if one day he could save my bleeding ears from Rogan’s
screaming. Huerta has the Alcoholics Anonymous third step prayer
tattooed on his right forearm. What does any of this have to do with
anything? Not much. Dana White is right; this fight is a tough call
either way. For such a closely contested bout, go with the value.
Roger Huerta +130.

Demian Maia (-285) vs. Jason MacDonald (+225)
For the wife and me, our favorite running UFC theme is to keep track
of all the redheads, or dark dirty blond fighters. There are tons of
them. I guess when you are born with orange hair, you have to learn
how to fight at a young age. The fun part about them is, 30 seconds
into the fight these guys look like they have some major pigmentation
issues. Giant red splotches all over their body. What can I
say¦we are easily amused.

Well they don’t come more flaring bright orange than Canadian fighter
Jason MacDonald (21-9-0). He possesses one of the weaker nicknames in
the game, `The Athlete.’ How far away are we from someone dubbing
themselves as `The Human?’ This is getting ridiculous.

MacDonald’s opponent for this middleweight matchup is Demian Maia
(8-0-0), a Brazilian fighter influenced by the legendary Gracies. The
majority of his victories are achieved by some form of a choke out.
Maia has stated that his favorite technique is to, "Submit my opponent
without him hurting me, or me hurting him.’ Well that’s no fun.

I highly anticipate the moment when Maia is choking out poor
MacDonald, forcing his face to turn shades of red and orange never
before seen by mankind. It will be a giddy moment in the Bread
household. Demian Maia -285.

Manny Gamburyan (-320) vs. Rob Emerson (+260)
The battle of the Lightweights pits Manny `The Anvil’ Gamburyan
(9-3-0) against Rob `The Saint’ Emerson (9-6-1). It’s a draw on the
worst nickname.

Gamburyan reminds me why I don’t fight little guys when I go out. In
dress attire, standing at a whopping 5-5, 155 lbs, I would almost want
to take it easy on the guy. Then I would be dismantled in sad
fashion. No thanks.

Manny’s actual name is Manvel. He was born in Armenia. He likes to
enter the ring to the music of Armenian band System of a Down. If Joe
Rogan’s decibels don’t make your ears bleed enough, perhaps Manvel’s
music can help.

Gamburyan lost in The Ultimate Fighter championship to Nate Diaz.
Manny was beating him up pretty good until dislocating his shoulder.
That was a bad night for Bread. Manny has won two in a row since
then.

Dana White must love Rob Emerson for some reason. On the reality
show’s fifth installment, he first lost out to Diaz. Then he returned
as a replacement for an injured fighter, and lost to Corey Hill. Then
on the finale’s undercard, he was slammed to the mat by Gray Maynard
and submitted. Problem was, Maynard slammed his own head too hard and
fell unconscious. The fight was declared a no contest. Emerson
hasn’t shown anything, but like the Terminator, he keeps coming back.

This will be an easy victory for Gamburyan. The only concern would be
the karma train. In his last bout with Jeff Cox, Manny broke the
unspoken rule of professional fighting. He faked the glove tap than
many fighters do to begin a round, and smacked a spinning leg kick at
his opponent. Not good. Fortunately for gamblers, Emerson will not
be the one to avenge the karma gods. Manny Gamburyan -320.

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