Today’s Zaman, Turkey
Dec 28 2008

Apologizing is all around

I don’t know about your New Year’s celebration plans, but mine are
simple and the same as they were last year and the year before: After
visiting my parents and exchanging good wishes with my friends, I will
watch the movie "Love Actually," which I’ve already memorized in its
entirety, even the special features. This movie warms my soul, though
it has the many shortcomings possessed by romantic comedies. The
screenplay is based on the stories of several characters, all linked
to each other in some way, and each story tells about different
aspects of love. The film begins five weeks before Christmas and is
played out during a week-by-week countdown until the holiday, with an
epilogue that takes place one month later.

The soundtrack is very nice, too, and it opens with the Christmas
variation of classic hit "Love Is All Around." This song makes me
happy, but this year I will try to sing my own variation, which will
be "Apologizing Is All Around" — and for this version, it does not
matter how awful my voice is, it will make me even happier.

Whatever others may say, I think 2008 was a remarkable year because
one of the very important deficits in our dominant political culture
began to be defeated, and this is why 2008 deserves a special
blessing.

In our dominant political culture, even in the dominant daily culture,
to "apologize" has a very limited place. For us, it is always very
difficult to accept our faults; it is more difficult to articulate it
even if we are sad because of them. For example, I don’t know if
you’ve noticed, but even in a small traffic accident, the obviously
wrong party does not apologize but tries instead to pretend that s/he
is innocent. This habit is also reflected in our political culture. I
can’t even recall a single political leader who was able to say "I am
sorry."

The wave of apologies began with Justice Minister Mehmet Ali
Å?ahin when he conveyed the apology for the murder of Engin
Ã?eber, who reportedly died after being beaten by security
forces. Maybe it was not good enough, but nonetheless it was a very
important step because it showed us that the state can apologize.

Then came the "apologizing campaign" of the intellectuals for the
"Great Catastrophe that the Ottoman Armenians were subjected to in
1915." Well, perhaps some reactions to it were at the level of racism,
but the important thing is that apologizing is starting to be a part
of our sovereign political culture.

Republican People’s Party (CHP) deputy Canan Arıtman, while
criticizing the president’s silence regarding the apology campaign,
called for an investigation into the ancestry of Gül’s mother
in a statement, implying that she was of Armenian origin. She has not
apologized for it yet; on the other hand, she is not worth taking
seriously. Another CHP deputy, Å?ükrü
ElekdaÄ?, who strongly opposes the apology campaign, did
apologize to Gül’s mother, and it was definitely something.

(But perhaps I should apologize here because I am a woman who tries to
advocate for the involvement of women in politics as much as I can. I
definitely do not mean the male chauvinist, racist, fascist women like
Arıtman.)

The apology campaign may have created many reactions, but on the other
hand, as German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said: "All truth
passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is
violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Then, all of a sudden, another apology came, this time from Culture
and Tourism Minister ErtuÄ?rul Günay. He told Alevis that
in the past there had been provocations against Alevis and that he was
apologizing for this because he is a representative of the
state. Alevis did not accept the apology — of course, those who have
been given an apology have the right to refuse it — but still, it is
something.

Then, suddenly, just like in "Love Actually," just a couple of weeks
before New Year’s, we started hearing apologies coming from
everywhere. At the beginning of the movie, David, the British prime
minister (played by Hugh Grant), says the words one by one before the
story telling starts: "Actually-love-is-all around."

So with great pleasure and hope, I want to say,
"Actually-apologizing-is-all around."

Happy New Year’s.
28.12.2008