RISING ABOVE THE CLOUDS OF ADVERSITY, OCEANA SENIOR CODY HOVSEPIAN RECEIVES HERO RECOGNITION
Jean Bartlett

San Jose Mercury News
September 15, 2009 Tuesday
California

Aaron "Cody" Hovsepian is a senior at Oceana High School. He’s easy to
talk to, he’s got friends, he is smart and he can be easily described
as charismatic. "I get that from my dad who could sell three shoes
to a person with two legs," laughs the affable Hovsepian. As to his
career goals, he wants to be a child psychologist.

On Friday, Sept. 18, Cody will be among the 10 honored at the Family
Service Agency of San Mateo County’s annual Winners Breakfast. These
10 "everyday unsung heroes" are local high school students and adults
who have triumphed over extreme adversity to succeed and to become
role models for their peers. The celebratory event, sponsored by a
$25K grant from Oracle, will be co-hosted by Sydnie Kohara of CBS-5
TV and Don Sanchez of ABC-7 TV. Comedian and KGO radio personality
Brian Copeland will be the special guest speaker.

Born in Walnut Creek to heroin-addicted parents, Cody and his family
lived there until his parents were kicked out.

"We were Section 8 housing, and it was a nice house as I remember,"
said Cody. "But my parents were dumb enough to let other people stay
with us and you can’t do that with Section 8."

His parents split up. Cody, his brother and their dad moved into their
paternal grandmother’s house in Millbrae. Cody’s mom moved in with
her dad in Pacifica. Cody began kindergarten at Green Hills Elementary.

His dad was a carpenter/handyman. "He was on and off work but he
still provided what I needed," said Cody. "And I was pretty happy."

Cody is not sure if his father was still doing heroin when they lived
in Millbrae. "My brother who is seven years older told me he was,
but my dad didn’t let me see that. I know he was drinking whiskey
but I didn’t see him drunk. He would drink and fall asleep."

At 7-years-old, Cody was molested by a relative. "My father found
out and put me in a therapy group with other kids like me which was
lead by a child therapist. The therapy helped and I can honestly say
I moved on."

Two months into the fourth grade, Cody was sent to Pacifica to live
with his mom and her dad. His paternal grandmother had been diagnosed
with Alzheimer’s. Cody, who then attended Linda Mar Elementary,
thought the move to Pacifica was temporary. When Cody was 10, his
dad died. Not from drugs or alcohol but from a combination of factors
which included not enough oxygen in his blood.

Cody, who also attended Ingrid B. Lacy, lived with his mother and
her father until the end of 10th grade.

"My mother’s father was not nice. Because I received monthly survivor
benefits from my father’s Social Security, my grandfather let me
stay because I was rent money. He was verbally abusive and could be
physically abusive. Sometimes he would only let me shower once a week
and I didn’t get dinner that much or food in general."

Cody said it was his neighbors across the street who really looked
out for him. They offered him a safe haven and meals. Cody said he
definitely considers their daughter to be his little sister.

Additionally Cody said his Aunt Debbie stepped in to help him a
lot. "She means the world to me."

At the end of sophomore year, Cody’s grandfather kicked both Cody and
his mother out. They went to live with his mom’s sister-in-law, Gail.

"I packed everything that was important to me: pictures of my friends,
my Play Station 2, beads I had gotten that year at SF Pride." (Cody,
who came out the summer between 8th grade and high school, is active
in Oceana’s Gay Straight Alliance.)

But the stay with his aunt didn’t last. "My mother wasn’t doing heroin
but she was doing speed and drinking heavily every day and my aunt
just finally had to ask us to leave. She gave us some time to find
a place and I just thought; what next."

Cody talked to Ms. Ambrose, special service counselor at
Oceana. "Ms. Ambrose really stepped in to help me out." With permission
from Cody, Ms. Collins, the Junior and Senior Academic Counselor at
Oceana was also brought in to help.

"Ms. Collins knew this couple from her church, Lisa and Karen. They
have a daughter and a son. We all met in March of 2009 to see what
we thought of each other. They liked me and I liked them and I moved
in with them during spring break."

How does Cody feel about them now? "I love them. They are my moms. It’s
like I found my long lost parents. And I love my brother and sister. We
have two dogs and four cats. I have a real family now."

Cody said his moms are typical parents. "They get involved. They give
me chores. I get in trouble when I am supposed to. They get worried
if I don’t call," Cody laughs. "And they call me constantly asking
me where am I, tell me they love me and to call them back!"

Cody said his "academic" mom attended Oceana’s Back to School Night
on the 8th and his "financial" mom will attend the college "financial
aid" information night in October.

"I want to go to San Diego for college, but I will also apply to nine
other schools. Ms. Collins gave all the seniors a pack of college
stuff which includes information on community colleges, CSUs and
UCs. Ms. Ambrose told me about The Point Foundation which I will
also apply for. (The Point Foundation, ,
provides scholarships, mentorship, leadership training and hope for
students of merit who have been marginalized due to sexual orientation,
gender identity or gender expression.)

Cody said Oceana has provided him a real sense of self through
education. "It has been a good school for me in so many ways. They
teach you to see not just the black and white of the world, but the
grey in between. In 10th grade we learned about genocide. We studied
the Armenian Genocide (Cody points out his last name, Hovsepian
is Armenian), we studied the Holocaust and the Rape of Nanking. Of
course there were other things we studied, but these really have a
deep impact."

As a Junior, Cody experienced the Sojourn To The Past Project
(), a 10-day bus, educational tour through
pivotal sites in the South were Civil Rights History was made and where
students meet 14 of the men and women who shaped the movement. "It
made me see that this country is not all peachy keen and we have our
dirty secrets. So often we stick our noses in other countries where
it doesn’t belong. We have enough of our own problems!"

Through his own life’s dilemmas, Cody said he has learned to never
surrender. He said that even if it sounds "cheesy" he recommends
that kids with tough home lives: don’t give up, do their homework
and fight, fight, fight! He also said that exercise is a great stress
reliever. He works out daily for 90 minutes.

Cody’s not quite sure what he thinks about, in his words, "being
honored for having a trouble life and surviving it" an honor he knows
that Ms. Ambrose is behind. "My mom Karen is making me dress up,"
smiled Cody. "I guess it’s actually pretty cool."

"I used to look at the ‘American family’ and think: two kids,
one set of parents, a dog and everyone is happy. I have that now,
alternative style. My parents love me for who I am and I really
consider myself lucky."