Vartabedian: A Happy 45th Anniversary Letter to My Wife

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By Tom Vartabedian – on February 20, 2010

Dear Nancy,

Well, here we are, on the threshold of another milestone. The fact we
got married on your birthday Feb. 19 made it very easy to recall. Some
husbands I know have no talent for remembering anniversaries. With
others, it’s a gift.

I can’t think of a better one than this greeting card.

We just returned from a memorable trip to Disney World with our family
and seeing the joy upon the faces of our two grandchildren left an
indelible mark upon us both.

The basis for any married life is spoiling our grandkids and both of
us are supreme in that category. God blessed us with a wonderful bode,
good health, fine careers, a retirement free of debt. For that, we are
eternally blessed.

Memory takes me back to that fateful moment in Harvard Square 45 years
ago when we tied the knot during a candlelight ceremony. We both
wanted something sedate, not the big, bawdy ceremony as such. The fact
we were both Armenian and decided to wed inside an ethnic church
brought some semblance of gratitude from our parents.

Those early years living with your Mom were the best of times,
especially when the children came along. We had a built-in babysitter,
a true missionary who taught our youngsters Armenian protocol. She was
a counselor, nurse, and mediator whenever an argument erupted.

I liked the fact your mother usually sided with me. Many husbands are
riled by their in-laws. We were enamored by ours on both sides.

Some of our best times were being there for our kids, whether it was
school, sports, or scouting. Not too many can boast of two Eagle
Scouts or three National Honor Society students in one family. The
credit belongs to them.

And those hockey games, hitting the road at 5 o’clock on a Sunday
morning, groggy, cold, and resentful. Twenty-five years of shivering
inside a rink may have taken its toll with someone less appreciative.
We always considered it a stepping stone to their maturity.

Watching them attend the college of their choice and getting to work
at their designated careers offered us untold comfort. No doubt, the
fact that each resides within proximity has never been compromised by
distance, unlike some of our friends who have children light years
apart.

Over the years, you’ve tolerated my love for classical music and I’ve
condoned your assorted tastes for the lyrical. We’ve been opposite in
many ways, like my yen for mountain climbing and racquetball, though
attracted by others with our interest in theater and travel.

Such diversity only strengthened our bond and gave us our own space
when we needed it. Every good marriage needs some breathing room as
much as compatibility, and I believe we struck a happy medium.

I put you through a four-hour performance of Handel’s `Messiah’ once
and admired your patience. The day you took me on a four-hour shopping
frenzy to oblivion one Christmas had me reeling with tedium.

Some of our favorite moments represented an informal dinner over wine
and a good movie. We did the Mediterranean, two Caribbean cruises, an
amazing trip to Europe for our 30th, that visit to Armenia in 2006
with our friends, a steady stream of day trips to Ogunquit and
Newport, R.I., and an ongoing affinity to patronize the community in
which we reside.

We’ve led three lives – the family above all, followed by our ethnic
surroundings, and the American way. We’ve enjoyed the best of three
worlds and it only seems to be getting better. What we did for our
children, we get to do all over again with another generation.

Watching them play soccer and proceed through the school ranks gives
us another venue in our Geritol years. Will we be there for their
graduations and their weddings? Only time will tell. Who would have
ever thought my mother would live to 98, still vivacious in her
approach, of good mind and character, thankful for her daily visits in
the nursing home?

As I recall our wedding day, the priest held both our hands and
uttered some choice words: `May you both grow old on one pillow.’

That we have done – one bed with two pillows perhaps. We’ve defied some
obstacles along the way, a tenuous heart condition for one, auto
accidents for another, been through the usually financial challenges,
suffered through some hard economic times, and shrugged off our woes
with a smile.

All said and done, we’ve burned the candle at both ends and shined in
our very own incandescence. To the days ahead. May each one continue
to be brighter than the next.

With all my love,
Tom

From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress