Assimilated With Dolma
By Tamar Kevonian

Asbarez
ma/
Feb 26th, 2010

We arrive on time at the local watering hole to meet with friends we
haven’t seen in quite a while. Seems everyone is running late. Richard
is the first to arrive, apologizing for his tardiness, not realizing
that all of the others are still on their way.

After the initial "Hellos" and "How have you beens?" were asked
and addressed, he turned and commented on a past column I’d written
entitled Who is an Armenian? Richard is quieter and more reflective
than most the others we were expecting to see this evening. He rarely
spoke extensively so when he asked the question, it was evident that
he’s spent quite a bit of time on the subject he was about to address.

"But we need to further ask ourselves what is an Armenian value
system?" he says. It seemed like a vague statement that used words
that were hard to describe.

"How do you associate the word Armenian with any sort of word?" he
says as a way of expanding on the topic. "Fill in the blank. For
example, when you say ‘Japanese’ immediately you think about
discipline, organizational agility, efficiency. ‘German’ you think
about discipline, execution, leadership. ‘American’ you think about
value of wealth, hard work. When it comes to ‘Armenian’ there is no
value system."

How is that possible? It seemed that Armenian values were so clear
that they never needed to be stated. But in trying to identify it I
discovered that is much more difficult to do than I initially thought.

Richard suggests that maybe, given our wide Diasporan existence and
our nomadic lifestyle of the last couple of generations, we have
adopted the value system of our host cultures: Iranian-Armenians from
Iranians, Lebanese-Armenians from the Lebanese, and so on. "So when
you mix and match everything, and try to think of a national value
system nothing really stands out."

"What about our value of the family?" I ask.

"Okay, but you see that amongst Americans too," he said and went on
to explain that if we step out of the limelight of the big migrant
cities like Los Angeles and New York, an American’s sense of family
was very much like ours.

"There is an American value system: it includes things like
competition, material wealth, hard work, independence, individualism.

But in the Armenian value system there is no individualism, there is
no independence. You assume ‘family’ as a value system but it’s not.

Family is basically a medium that provides you a value system,"
he explains.

"Wait a minute," I said, unwilling to accept that we had no
identifiable set of values. "Armenians can be equated with
entrepreneurship. With survival."

He focuses on the word "survival" but questions its integration in a
value system. "That’s a verb. What does that mean or what does that
say bout the values we hold? Maybe you can interpret that to say
we’re flexible."

"We’re adaptable."

"Yes. That is very true. As a value system, I believe that’s actually
true," Richard agrees. Armenians are resilient and adapt easily. The
established communities in almost every country in the world are a
testament to those two traits. "You can literally lift us up from
here, drop us in the Amazon, and will still create the same social
structure."

"We come from different corners of the globe and we each have a
unique approach to our ‘Armenianism’ which is our cultural and ethnic
identity," I said.

"Is language a part of it? Can there be non-Armenian speaking
Armenian?" he asks

"Absolutely."

"So it’s OK to lose some of the elements of your Armenianism and
still be Armenian?"

"Unfortunately we have to adapt. Like a chameleon that changes colors
to blend into its environment but doesn’t stop being a chameleon."

"There’s different process. There’s integration, there is
assimilation," Richard says to clarify. In integration you identify as
Armenian while maintaining all the values, whereas in assimilation you
start to deny your identity and accept the host culture’s system. "You
start to deny your identity as an Armenian (during assimilation)
and you start to completely accept the American thing. You start to
say things like ‘I like the food.’ You identify yourself with some
symbols or some sort of memories."

Most people’s first and most prevalent experience with an unfamiliar
culture is through their cuisine. But this has also become a barometer
for knowledge: how well do we really know a culture if all we can
say about it is that "I like the food?" By the same token, how well
does one know or identify with being Armenian if all they can say is
"My parents/grandparents were Armenian and I really like the food?"

"Exactly, you are already assimilated with dolma (stuffed grape
leaves)," Richard says and laughs. "So what values are you adhering
to as an Armenian?"

He made his point. Although the discussion was lively, it was clear
that we couldn’t specifically describe a set of values that can be
identified as "Armenian." It is to be another discussion for another
day. Perhaps it will never be identified or perhaps we will create
it as we go along on our journey: a subcategory of a larger topic of
identity and finding our place in the world.

From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress