ARMENIAN ARMY DEVELOPS NEW METHOD OF FIGHTING WITH EGGS

Today
March 30 2010
Azerbaijan

Interesting things are happening in Armenia. Local politicians love
to make belligerent statements against everyone.

They will either declare Turkey’s borders "invalid" and will require
the world to force Turkey to give part of its territory to the
long-suffering Armenia or, failing to achieve the opening of the
Upper Lars checkpoint, will incite separatism in Javakheti. Armenian
President Serzh Sargsyan will make strong statements. Recently, he said
from the rostrum of the London Chatham House that the "Karabakh people"
are ready to defend their cross-stones with weapons. He reiterated
the same threats in an interview with the French newspaper Le Figaro,
saying that Armenia does not want war but is ready to fight.

It is necessary to remind Sargsyan that the conflict that has lasted
for more than 20 years was ignited by the Armenian side. It was
Armenia that began ethnic cleansing in the region and, with the
capture of Shusha and Lachin by the Armenian forces, the conflict
moved from local clashes to full-scale war. As a result, it is Armenia
that holds 20 percent of Azerbaijan’s lands under occupation, and,
in general, countries that do not wish war, do not behave like that
and their presidents do not voice such statements. London analysts
did not conceal that they were also disappointed with the tone and
content of Sargsyan’s Chatham House speech. Similarly, the French
public gave an adequate assessment of his interview with Le Figaro.

The reason is simple. No one expects such statements from Armenia
and its president. Even desperate Armenian lobbyists in European
capitals admit that unlike Azerbaijan with its oil and gas reserves
and Georgia, which has become an important communications hub, Armenia
is of interest to the world only in the sense that there would be no
war in this country located in a region as strategically important
as the South Caucasus.

On this backdrop, Armenia’s Defense Minister Seyran Ohanian decided
to act as a peacemaker. It is a rhetorical question whether Ohanian,
one of the orchestrators of the Khojaly massacre and former commander
of a battalion of 366 Regiment, fit for the role of "a dove of
peace." At the Rose Roth seminar of the NATO Parliamentary Assembly
in Yerevan, he said that his country is opposed to an "arms race"
in the region and in no way intends to participate in it. According
to the minister, the emphasis should be placed not on a quantitative,
but on a qualitative indicator of the army.

It is unclear what Mr. Ohanian had in mind when speaking of "quality
growth" especially against the background of mass migration of
families where there are conscript youth from Armenia. But military
experts know that talks of commissars on valor and fighting spirit
are senseless. Today no one doubts that Gaulle was right when he said
wars are won in the rear.

Such talks can make a lasting impression on Yerevan housewives who,
accidentally switching from soap operas to news program, may hear
something frightening about Azerbaijan’s military budget, which
exceeded the entire state budget of Armenia. And they may begin to
ask whether it would be better to negotiate with Azerbaijan on an
amicable way until Baku has run out of patience.

Frankly, Ohanian’s statements that he personally will not be involved
in the arms race remind one of the famous parable of a fox and grapes.

The fox calls the grapes sour because it cannot reach them. Mr.

Ohanian knows better that Armenia has neither strength nor financial
capacity to participate in an arms race.

Amid Ohanian’s statements criticizing an arms race, the Armenian
National Statistics Service published a report, according to which
prices on consumer goods and services in Armenia increased 10 percent
on average. Fish products have risen in price more than anything – 60
percent – and sugar by 34 percent. Only prices on eggs saw a decline,
as much as 12 percent.

Moreover, this report does not include the latest data on a significant
increase in prices on public utilities like gas, water and electricity.

In short, we can only advise Mr. Ohanian to add a new military
discipline to combat training for Armenian conscripts – throwing eggs
at the enemy and then declaring these eggs the new secret weapon of
the Armenian army and announcing that the capability to "fight with
the eggs" of the Armenian army is a 100 times greater than those
of Azerbaijan.

By the way, the eggs marked the "Defense Ministry" have appeared
in Yerevan shops. So, it is possible that experiments have already
started.