EUROVISION 2010 SCANDALISED BY ARMENIAN WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

The Spoof

May 29 2010

London: A panel of gentlemen British music experts joined by a local
damp-proofer, watched last night’s Eurovision Song Contest with the
sound switched off and declared it a scandalous waste of drinking time.

Gathered together in a famous West London pub, it was unanimously
agreed that raven haired Eva from Armenia would win by a country
mile, once her magnificent breasts spilled out from her enchanting
white costume.

Fatally, the silly girl failed to get them out and trailed in a
disappointing seventh. Just when she needed a classic wardrobe
malfunction, the bra straps stayed firm and ruined what would have
otherwise been a golden opportunity. Such is the paper thin difference
between international stardom and obscurity.

Second favourite amongst the experts was shared between the Ukrainian
sex bomb Alyosha, sporting a diaphanous dress in danger of being
blown away by a powerful wind machine – and a group from Belarus
called 3+2 who wore butterfly wings which particularly excited our
70 year old ex-trombonist Gordon Rodwell.

Neither of the girls flashed their breasts so it came as no surprise
to us when they fell behind once the voting got underway.

However, the United Kingdom did well, parading a pretty young lad, much
admired by presenter Graham Norton. He was called Josh and he managed
to come last with ten points. Tradition is all important in this event.

Germany ran out the winners playing 4-2-4. There was a teenage girl
in their team, but nobody on the panel fancied her – even a tiny bit.

We’re a fussy lot here in Chiswick W4.

Sorry too that we didn’t hear her sing. Shall we all presume she
was awful.

The match was played in Oslo.

Whilst it was raining in London.

Will that do?

From: A. Papazian