EUROVISION OUTFITS
By Hilary Alexander
Daily Telegraph
1:24PM BST 18 May 2009
UK
Great songs, but what about the clothes?
Moldova’s Nelly in an updated version of the national dress. Right:
Azerbaijan?s eye-catching ensembles Photo: AFP So Eurovision 2009 is
over – and ‘The Song’ is back at the top of the agenda. But what on
earth happened to the clothes?
Boring black, insipid white, 1980s bridesmaids’ frocks, predictable
corsetry; I might just have well have ‘watched’ it on the radio.
Abba impersonators claim world record singalongWhere were the fabulous
frocks? Who voted off the toe-curling costumes? Who put the squeeze
on the sequins?
France’s entry, Patricia Kass – who has some of the world’s great
designers on her doorstep – chose to sing in a black, badly-fitting,
black satin, short-dress; hardly one ‘L’ of an LBD. Where was John
Galliano at Dior, Christian Lacroix or Jean Paul Gaultier when she
needed them?
Our own entry, Jade Ewen, fared little better. Granted she had a
marvellous Andrew Lloyd-Webber song to sing, but the brilliance of her
performance was hardly matched by a very pedestrian white ‘baby-doll’
with just a hint of silver beading. Why wasn’t she dazzling, visually,
in a multicoloured, beaded micro-dress by Matthew Williamson which
would have shown off her gorgeous pins to better advantage.
0D Why couldn’t someone have persuaded Alexander McQueen to whip up
a fabulous, anachronistic, twist on tailoring – or even have lent her
one of his gorgeous, embroidered, red velvet, ‘Rule Brittania’ gowns
from the last autumn/winter collection? Why didn’t Christopher Kane,
Marios Schwab or Louise Goldin offer to design a one-off body-con
dress that really might have made it ‘her time’.
Iceland’s Yohanna and Sweden’s Malene Ernman both looked as if they’d
borrowed their dresses from the extras’ in ‘Four Weddings and a
Funeral’. At least Yohanna had a decent excuse since her country’s
virtually bankrupt and she had probably had to cross-country ski to
get to Moscow. Croatia’s Andrea and Russia’s Anastasia both looked as
if they were wearing night-dresses; ironic, in the case of Anastasia
whose father is supposedly a billionaire.
Israel’s Noa and Mira Awad were to be congratulated for their peace
anthem, but scored ‘nul points’ for their ‘Cruella de Vil on a Harley’
ensembles.
And the men! Denmark’s Brink copying Ronan Keating; Lithuania’s Sasha
Son trying – and failing – to do a Justin Timberlake. And the less
said about Germany the better, even if it did feature a Dita Von
Teese vignette.
Thank Apollo for Greece’s Sakis Rouvos, in tight, taut, tummy-revealing
T-shirt and skintight trouse rs as white as his teeth, who deserved
a maximum 12 for his hip-grinding alone.
Despite Graham Norton’s rather disparaging remarks about national
costumes, these, for me, were this Eurovision’s fashion high point.
I loved the Armenian sisters, Inga and Anush’s tribal, Cecil B. de
Mille biblical-epic gowns, accessorised with coin-decorated pillboxes
and hip-belts; very Guinivere meets Bathsheba, even if Norton did say
it looked as if they came ‘from a village where Liberace is the mayor’.
Moldova’s pert songster, Nelly, was a sweet ‘zingara’ in embroidered
peasant smock, corset and lime and purple beaded ra-ra skirt –
an update on national dress, with Next Directory-style Woodstock
overstones, and wild ‘Cossack’ dancing backup; while full marks for
Turkey’s Hadise for making the most of her region’s belly-dancing
heritage, in a microscopic red bra and hip-slung, sarong-skirt
slashed to the thigh, with backing dancers in similarly slashed
harem pants. But who on earth was the boy in the beige trousers and
shirt. Norton thought he looked liked he’d driven them all there in
a minivan.
Other ‘national treasures’ included Albania’s 17 year old Kejsi Tola,
as the sugar plum fairy; Estonia’s Urban Symphony in modernist,
wet-look midnight blue beading; Bosnia-Herzegovina’s ‘Regina’ who
had raided the Les Miserables’ wardrobe; an d Azerbaijan’s Aysel &
Arash in a curious, but eye-catching mix of military jackets, with
purple and gold stretch. But why did the leggings have only one leg?
The star of the night, however, was undoubtedly Ukraine’s Svetlana,
who had mortgaged her house in Kiev, for her extraordinary red
microdress and black thigh-high boots – a Madonna moment without
the ‘mutton factor’ – and to pay for the ‘circus maximus’ stage set
which included silver chariot wheels and three Roman gladiators in
the shortest skirts of the evening.