Daily Nation , Kenya
March 23 2006
SECOND IMPRESSION – Nothing new about these Armenians
Story by KAMAU MUTUNGA
Publication Date: 3/24/2006
Artur Margaryan and Artur Sargsyan are keeping to the beaten track,
writes KAMAU MUTUNGA [[email protected]]
The hilarious antics that have become the hallmark of the two
“Armenian brothers” are not the only ones where foreigners have come
visiting and left Kenyans startled.
But Artur Margaryan (lead role) and Artur Sargsyan (supporting cast)
of the ongoing stranger-than-fiction farce are far ahead of the pack
if their arrogance, sense of entitlement and sheer bravado are any
yard sticks.
Consider Artur Margaryan. He said he won’t leave the country anytime
soon. Perhaps meanwhile, he might do with a Kenyan nickname – Arthur
Magaka.
Magaka or “Magash” in street-speak, could be in need of a barber, but
make no mistake about his bling bling, confidence and wicked sense of
humour. His bling, comprising multiple gold chains, rings, “Al
Capone” sun glasses and an oversize crucifix, will soon have our
wanna-be hip-hop artistes rethinking how they are going to show off
theirs, which they invariably source from exhibition stalls on
hirepurchase.
And just which Kenyan can stand a crowd baying for his blood in a
strange land, let alone have the nerve to dare its Police
commissioner?
Well, Mr Moneybags Magash just gave us a lesson on how to handle the
boys in blue. And then of course, long after this mercenary soap
opera is over, we’ll always remember his clever and mischievous
one-liners. Asked why his vicious dobberman bit a CID officer, he
retorted: “Ask the dog!”
Alexandra Kwizera had no masculine one-liners to remember him by, but
we can’t forget the “chick” who in November 2005 was arrested at Yaya
Centre for masquerading as a woman. The braided and manicured 30-year
old Burundian man had an effeminate pose that rivalled any girl’s.
And what drift didn’t the world grip? That Alexandra – who pleaded
guilty to four counts of being in Kenya illegally – came in a forged
passport to realise his long life dream of getting a sex change.
After all, he had always played with dolls since childhood, he said.
Alexandra was fined Sh31,000 or six months in jail. He had 15 minutes
of fame or infamy, as much as the self styled Queen of Sheba in 2001.
You remember her: Like the “Armenian brothers”, she purportedly came
carrying serious cash – a dizzying Sh15 billion to invest. And
Kenyans, the incurable optimists that we are, believed her.
But this Caribbean 22-carat beauty named Debra Armelia George, was
actually a student. But before that sank in, she had already spent
Sh2m off the Grand Regency hotel’s balance sheet. That included
medical bill payments when she fell ill halfway through her working
holiday.
Such career moves, if you ask me, cannot be executed by the plain
Janes of this world – the kind that can get lost in a crowd of three.
While The Queen came to invest, one Michael Otieno wanted Sh386m for
himself and his henchmen. In January 2002, Oti actually a Nigerian
named Augustine Azubuike, lured, through the Internet, American
businessmen Daniel Marrow, a Baptist minister, Jim Harrel, a retired
policeman and Jurgen Ahlaman to Kenya to sign a Sh732m uncut diamond
deal.
But the only deal that was cut was a Sh386m ransom on their combined
greying heads. For 87 days, the trio survived on water, bread and
diarrhoea – inducing pizzas before they were rescued by the FBI. Oti
was sentenced to seven years in the coolers for kidnapping.
Perhaps he should have learnt a few lessons from Dick Berg, the sly
hand who creamed off a sizeable chunk of the Fourth All Africa Games
kitty in 1987. Devious Dick took over total marketing of the games
after the owners of Arc Enterprises, who were sub-contracted to
organise a concert featuring international musicians, skived with
over Sh243,000 of ticket sales.
“We are very pleased,” said the then Culture permanent secretary Mr
Sospeter Arasa, “that Mr Berg was the first one to alert the police
about the runaway organisers”.
And so Berg, who looked like a cross between a missionary and a
back-packer tourist, got the deal. He assured gullible Kenyans that
they would get value for their money. He even apologised for having
been involved with crooks.
The republic believed him. It had already spent Sh160m which was to
be recovered through TV and film rights, courtesy of Berg’s
entrepreneurial genius. And the supposed marketing maestro had
already raised Sh30m, half in cash and goods, which the missionary in
him delivered to the organisers. But Berg was bitten by a crooked bug
and took off with the rest of the money on a one – way ticket to
Timbuktu.
The only communication to the organisers was a telex wishing them,
“success in the games”.
He has not been heard of since.